Liverpool FC Forum

by **andy_g** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 10:34 am

when someone with a lisp says 'bithneth' you know they mean business

by **Roger Red Hat** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 3:50 pm

An Evertonian, a Manc Utd fan and a Liverpool Kopite are climbing a mountain and argueing about who loves their team the most. The united fan insists that he is the most loyal and he yells, "this is for Man utd" and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone the kopite next professes his love for his team, he screams "This is for Reds all over the world"... and pushes the bitter blue ku.nt off the mountain.

by **Kenny Kan** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:44 pm

Roger Red Hat wrote:An Evertonian, a Manc Utd fan and a Liverpool Kopite are climbing a mountain and argueing about who loves their team the most. The united fan insists that he is the most loyal and he yells, "this is for Man utd" and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone the kopite next professes his love for his team, he screams "This is for Reds all over the world"... and pushes the bitter blue ku.nt off the mountain.

Wife and her husband are having a bit of a domestic.

When she says "and also, I'm fed up of you pushing me around and talking about me behind my back"

The husband replies.... "Well, what do you expect, you're in a f.ucking wheelchair!"

by **kazza** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 10:58 am

Boocity wrote:A zoo keeper gets raped by an elephant, and he's rushed to hospital for treatment. The doctor examines him and asks why his ar5e has been stretched out 10 inches when an elephant's pen!s is only 4ins wide.

Weeping, the man says "The dirty b@st@rd fingered me first."

by **Boocity** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 5:31 am

Took a girl home after clubbing last night. After a few drinks at mine, we went upstairs & while we were taking our clothes off a voice came from the bed and said 'I hope thats not that fat one from last week'.

The girls said 'What the fook was that'.

I replied 'Its that b@st@rd memory foam mattress'

by **ste123lfc** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:45 am

Conjunctivitis.com, now there's a site for sore eyes.

by **stmichael** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 4:02 pm

man united fans must be relieved that 11/11/11 has passed now. they must be sick of seeing 6-1's this year.

by **andy_g** » Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:38 pm

i was sitting on the bus next to this really hot thai girl and i had to think to myself "please don't get a hard on!"

but she did anyway....

by **damjan193** » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:48 pm

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly she saw the wolf - "What big eyes you have" said the girl - "Get lost kid, can't you see that I'm trying to take a sh!t!" the wolf replied.

by **andy_g** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 10:34 pm

why don't boxers have sex the night before they fight?

because they don't like each other.

by **dawson99** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:36 am

I just got off the phone to Sea World, They said my call may be recorded for training Porpoises

by **Reg** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:04 am

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in.
Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick.
It's great though. It does everything -
Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.."

by **andy_g** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:18 am

dawson99 wrote:I just got off the phone to Sea World, They said my call may be recorded for training Porpoises

by **dawson99** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:43 pm

t's been a bad day , I've just been told by my doctor I'm allergic to deoderant.

Oh well roll-on tomorrow.

by **RUSHIE#9** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:19 pm

Just been told a dead friend has left me a very expensive watch in his will.

Hope it's not a wind up.

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