Liverpool FC Forum

by **mitch22** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 5:02 pm

why did the monkey fall out the tree........................

cos it was dead

by **hawkmoon269** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 5:05 pm

mitch22 wrote:why did the monkey fall out the tree........................

cos it was dead

Yeah.....But how did it die?

by **Lando_Griffin** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 2:05 am

hawkmoon269 wrote:
mitch22 wrote:why did the monkey fall out the tree........................

cos it was dead

Yeah.....But how did it die?

Dehydration. The poor b*stard was that busy p*ssing himself at Everton's position, he just ran out of fluid!

by **wrighty (not mark!)** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:27 am

What happened to the two gay ghosts in a haunted mansion?

They put the willies up each other!

by **mitch22** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 12:13 am

Whats green and stinks of bacon

?

Kermits nob :rasp

by **Woollyback** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 12:25 am

what's green and smells of pork?

kermit's middle finger

by **Judge** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 12:48 pm

Woollyback wrote:Q: what's green and smells of pork?

A: ronaldo

good one wooly :laugh:

by **mitch22** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 3:13 pm

What has the titanic and James Beattie got in common?

Both should have stayed in Southampton
:rasp

by **mitch22** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:19 pm

Two fish in a tank one turns to the other and says "hey do you know how to drive this thing"?

by **76-1115222408** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:37 pm

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

The husband says, "What?!!!"

The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. He then tells his wife, "they all look great, we'll buy all three of them."

Then he goes over and gets matching shoes worth $300 each. And then goes to the jewelry department and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited, and trying to take advantage of her husband's generous mood, she goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says, "You don't even play tennis, but if you really like it then let's get it."

The wife is practically jumping up and down with excitement. She says, "Okay, I'm ready to go, let's take all of this stuff to the register."

The husband says, "No-no-no, honey, we're not going to buy all this stuff."

The wife's face goes blank.

"No, honey, I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."

Her face gets really red and she's about to explode when the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!"

by **Mikz** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:09 am

Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A fridge doesnt fart when you take the meat out :;):

by **66-1120597113** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:30 am

Q Why did god give women legs

A Have u ever seen the mess a slug leaves behind

by **Mikz** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:50 am

How do you turn a duck into a popstar?

Put it int the micowave until its Bill withers :upside:

by **mitch22** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 12:33 am

Newsfash! newsflash! AVION FLU DETECTED IN BRITAIN apparantley the symptons are having a blue nose and as sick as a parrot!

by **Dalglish** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 1:39 am

Newsflash , legendary 60's band "the Animals" have released a staement through their agent ......Apparrently there is No house in New Orleans"

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