Liverpool FC Forum

by **brentd4** » Wed May 11, 2011 11:21 pm

BBC News: Bad drivers to face £100 fines

Seems a bit sexist.

by **brentd4** » Wed May 11, 2011 11:24 pm

Paddy goes to college to sign up and meets the head of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic subjects:
English, Maths, History and Logic.

"Logic? What's that?" Paddy asks.
The head says "I'll give you an example. Do you own a lawnmower?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically speaking, I would say you have a garden."
"Yes, I do have a garden." Paddy replies.
The head continues, "Because you have a garden, I say logically you would have a house."
"Yes, I have a house."
"And because you have a house, I would say you have a family."
"Yeah I have a family."
"Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, you must be heterosexual."
Paddy replies "I am heterosexual. That's amazing; you can tell all that because I have a lawnmower."

Later that day, Paddy is excited to tell his mate Mick. He tells Mick that he's signed up for Maths, English, History and Logic.

"Logic?" Mick says "What's that?"
Paddy says "I'll give you an example. Do you have a lawnmower?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer."

by **brentd4** » Wed May 11, 2011 11:29 pm

its funny how fernando torres is the famous one in his family, considering everyone really wants to know where his brother CLIT is.

by **Boocity** » Thu May 12, 2011 6:38 am

RUSHIE#9 wrote:
Dundalk wrote:What have Kate Middleton and Osama Bin Laden got in common?

Last week a member of the armed forces kicked their back door in and unloaded on their face.

'Kinell, just choked on me tea!!

Talking about tea.

As I was eating my tea last night, it got me thinking, this milk must be off.

:wwww

Ill get me coat

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Thu May 12, 2011 6:48 am

Boocity wrote:
RUSHIE#9 wrote:
Dundalk wrote:What have Kate Middleton and Osama Bin Laden got in common?

Last week a member of the armed forces kicked their back door in and unloaded on their face.

'Kinell, just choked on me tea!!

Talking about tea.

As I was eating my tea last night, it got me thinking, this milk must be off.

Ill get me coat

you sicko

by **stmichael** » Fri May 13, 2011 12:49 pm

Seve Ballesteros has been buried in the same grave as his father.

He will forever be one over Pa.

by **brentd4** » Fri May 13, 2011 11:30 pm

if there is 2 cats, one english,,, called one two three, and one french called,,, un deux trois, their racing across the english channel, which cat would win?

the english cat would win because

un deux trois quatre cinq.

by **RedSi35** » Sat May 14, 2011 7:39 am

Tenerife;

I won't beheading there in a rush.

by **redbilly** » Mon May 16, 2011 5:22 pm

A Citeh fan at work posted this on his FB status.....had to share it with you.....

Both Manchester City and Manchester United have annouced victory parades. City's will leave Manchester town hall at 6pm on the 23rd of May and tour Manchester arriving at The City of Manchester stadium at 7.30pm. While United's the following week is taking the same route as the Royal Wedding.

by **stmichael** » Fri May 20, 2011 1:49 pm

apparently next season west ham are changing the lyrics of their club song to "i'm forever throwing barstools".

by **dawson99** » Fri May 20, 2011 2:13 pm

Did anyone hear about the brawl that broke out at the West Ham end of season dinner party? Apparently started by Demba Ba refusing to sign an autograph for a fan.

I don't blame him. The last time he signed something he ended up playing for West Ham.

by **Boocity** » Tue May 24, 2011 12:39 pm

A farmer buys a young cockeral. As soon as it comes home, it rushes and f*ck5 all the 150 hens. The farmer is impressed.
At lunch, the cockeral again screws all 150 hens. Farmer gets tense now. Next day, he finds the cockeral f*ck1ng the ducks and the geese. Later, the farmer finds the cockeral pale, half-dead and vultures circling overhead. Farmer says, "You deserved it, you horny b4st4rd. The cockeral opens one eye,and says,

"Ssshhh. They're about to land.

had to change all the c*ck to cockeral as it censored them and I wasnt even being rude

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Mon May 30, 2011 5:23 pm

the most iconic scene of the ECL Final 2011

by **Dundalk** » Mon May 30, 2011 9:22 pm

Due to my success with the ladies over the years my friends used to call me 'Mr Lover Lover'
Then a girl with learning difficulties asked me to sh@g her up the @rse so now they call me 'Mr Bum Spastic'

Carlos tevez has become the latest player to be involved in a super injunction.
The girl he had sex with doesn't want to be named.

by **ethanr** » Mon May 30, 2011 10:17 pm

Dundalk wrote:Carlos tevez has become the latest player to be involved in a super injunction.
The girl he had sex with doesn't want to be named.

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