Jokes thread - Post your funniest jokes here

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Postby burjennio » Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:26 pm

this is the sickest joke ive ever heard, even I thought it was a bit over the line.........

I went for a run this morning and tripped over a dead girl, I was in total shock, I tell ya thats the last time I buy a treadmill from Mike Tyson

hell awaits me with open arms
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Postby Gerrard30391 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:26 pm

:p

Jokes should be taken with a pinch of salt, if they are identified as being over the line before hand. It's funny how they do manage to make jokes of anything.
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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 1:48 pm

Arnold Schwarzenegger didnt get any Easter eggs this year. his wife asked him "does this mean you hate Easter now Arnie?", to which he replied (say this in an Austrian accent) "ah still love easter baby".
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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:50 pm

Did you hear about the circumciser that missed?

He got the sack
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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:51 pm

What did the female suicide bomber ask her husband?

Does my bomb look big in this.
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Postby dawson99 » Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:55 pm

Why does Rupert the Bear wear yellow and black chequered trousers?

Because he's a f**king tw@t
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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:58 pm

dawson99 wrote:Why does Rupert the Bear wear yellow and black chequered trousers?

Because he's a f**king tw@t

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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:59 pm

Who's the coolest guy in the hospital?
The ultra-sound guy.



Who fills in when he goes on holiday?
The hip replacement guy.
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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:02 pm

A duck is about to cross a road, chicken walking past says "dont bother mate, you'll never hear the f**king end of it"
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Postby Number 9 » Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:09 pm

dawson99 wrote:Why does Rupert the Bear wear yellow and black chequered trousers?

Because he's a f**king tw@t

:laugh:  :laugh:
Stole that one...PMSL!! :D
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Postby redhayesy » Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:16 pm

mick hucknall has been arrested for shagging a rabbit.  police said he was holding back the ears! & singing bunny 2 tight to mention. :D
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Postby Number 9 » Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:17 pm

redhayesy wrote:mick hucknall has been arrested for shagging a rabbit.  police said he was holding back the ears! & singing bunny 2 tight to mention. :D

:laugh:
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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:20 pm

A terrorist walks into a pet shop and screams you have 30 seconds to get out before I blow this place up, the tortoise shouts 'You c*nt!'
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Postby Glen Quagmire » Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:22 pm

Why did the Irishman wear 2 condoms?

To be sure, to be sure
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Postby Kharhaz » Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:13 pm

Some random woman stopped me in the street today and started telling me a joke. It had all the ingredients of a good joke: child abuse; incestual rape; tears and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline. Something about £2 a month? :laugh:

I nicked that one from Sickipedia.

Some ill people on there !
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