Liverpool FC Forum

by **Dalglish** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 12:14 am

Your SO brave when the Mrs isn't around AL

by **Dalglish** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:34 am

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be sh*tting herself.

by **Dalglish** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:43 am

A man is about to have sex with a really fat woman, so he climbs on top of her.

"Can I turn the light off?" he asks.

"Why?" she replies. "Are you feeling a bit shy?"

"No," he says. "Because it's burning my a.sssssss!"

by **Dalglish** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:48 am

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins.

"How am I doing?" He asks.

"Three knots," she replies.

"Three knots? What's that mean?"

"You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

by **Dalglish** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:48 am

A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After a while a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello luv, how's about us going for a walk together."

"How dare you," said the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"

"Well then," said the beggar, "What are you doing in my bed?"

by **anfieldadorer** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 6:57 am

south korean president in a high level meeting with bush whose face getting pale:
"i said i will drop my nuclear PROGRAM, did I said 'where'?"

by **Judge** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:37 pm

Preganant Irish girl phones home:

''mam oi tink waters hav broke''

mum says ''Oh me holy jaysus where are ya ringin from?''

girl ''from me minge to me ankles''

by **Woollyback** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:50 pm

Judge wrote:Preganant Irish girl phones home:

''mam oi tink waters hav broke''

mum says ''Oh me holy jaysus where are ya ringin from?''

girl ''from me minge to me ankles''

classic

by **wrighty (not mark!)** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:56 pm

What has three legs and lives on a farm?

Paul and Heather McCartney

by **SouthCoastShankly** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:14 pm

Jeremy Beadle has a small penis, but on the other hand its rather big

by **Woollyback** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:16 pm

Q: what do vegetarian worms eat?

A: Linda McCartney

:wwww

by **Judge** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:24 pm

bad but a classic woolly

by **wrighty (not mark!)** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:27 pm

What's big, white and can't climb trees?

a fridge

by **Judge** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:33 pm

ok

whats green and has 23 balls??

a snooker table

old but still bad

by **Woollyback** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 11:08 pm

Q: what's got 200 tiny balls and f*cks rabbits?

A: a shotgun

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