Liverpool FC Forum

by **LegBarnes** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 3:30 pm

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Martin Skrtel.

That line is PMSL OMG SO FUNNY

by **Bad Bob** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 3:32 pm

Igor Zidane wrote:can divide by zero.

doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.

My faves!

by **Toffeehater** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 5:20 pm

Igor Zidane wrote:Before he goes to sleep, the bogeyman checks the cupboards for Martin Skrtel.

Invented Cessarian Section by roundhousing himself out of his mother

Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Martin Skrtel.

When Martin Skrtel was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Martin Skrtel.

, class lines

by **Emerald Red** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:51 pm

by **metalhead** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:56 pm

Emerald Red wrote:

fantastic

by **Rush Job** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 10:07 pm

Can get BA on a plane without the use of drugs, :laugh:

by **LegBarnes** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:15 am

haha i thought of a few.(go easy on me)

one pheromone of Martin skrtel can give a 1000 girls an orgasem.

Once laughed so hard on tour in mexico the whole town went deaf.

If Martin Skrtel was a terminator he would have told skynet to fook off.

Martin Skrtel thinks penis piercings are for girls.(He thinks liver piercings are more manly).

by **Toffeehater** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:18 am

Great pic emerald , i take it its your work because of the Sr signature below . How long did it take you to do that?

by **heimdall** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:22 pm

Igor Zidane wrote:Ripped this off TLW ,by a fella called Warrior Poet.

Made me smile .

Apple pays Skrtel 99p every time he listens to a song.

Can sneeze with his eyes open.

Can kill two stones with one bird.

Once destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Does not sleep. He waits.

Can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Einsteins original theory of relativety was: if Martin Skrtel kicks you your relatives will feel it.

is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

can divide by zero.

once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Martin Skrtel does not run. He jumps on the spot and the earth moves into position

If two Martin Skrtels tackled each other at the same time, time would collapse and the Earth would cease to exist.

was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost

doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Before he goes to sleep, the bogeyman checks the cupboards for Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel is the one remaining Highlander

They once made a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but there was a problem - it wouldn't take from anyone.

Martin Skrtel puts the laughter in manslaughter.

let the dogs out

make onions CRY!!!

Martin Skrtel doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Martin Skrtel is Martin Skrtel.

As soon as he was born he grabbed the midwife, the doctors and nurses by their ankles and slapped their then went on a 22 pint drinking spree.

Invented Cessarian Section by roundhousing himself out of his mother

Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.

Martin Skrtel made BA get on a plane without the use of drugs

When Martin Skrtel types LOL you can actually hear him laugh out loud.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Martin Skrtel.

When Martin Skrtel was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Martin Skrtel.

If you can see Skrtel he can see you, if you can't see Skrtel you may only be seconds away from death.

Martin Skrtel draws all his strength from Kryptonite, it does not weaken him.
___
Warrior Poet

ROFLMAOWTIME

by **andy_g** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:28 pm

for those who are as confused as i was, i just checked on google and heimdall wishes for us to know that he is rolling on the floor laughing his ar'se off with tears in his eyes.

by **Bad Bob** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:36 pm

andy_g wrote:for those who are as confused as i was, i just checked on google and heimdall wishes for us to know that he is rolling on the floor laughing his ar'se off with tears in his eyes.

Why can't I picture that?

Oh right, that's why.

by **John Kegs** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:42 pm

Superman wears Martin Skrtel pyjamas

The boogeyman checks under his bed at night to see if Martin Skrtel is there

by **Bad Bob** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:47 pm

Some more beauties modified from HERE:

Guns don't kill people. Martin Skrtel kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Martin Skrtel allows to live.

Martin Skrtel has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the developed world are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Martin Skrtel 3. Cancer

Crop circles are Martin Skrtel's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Martin Skrtel has 72... and they're all poisonous

What was going through the minds of all of Martin Skrtel's victims before they died? His boot.

Martin Skrtel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Martin Skrtel played in second grade.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Martin Skrtel.

Rome wasn't built in a day because Martin Skrtel was too busy to help.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Martin Skrtel could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Martin Skrtel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

When he falls in water, Martin Skrtel doesn't get wet. Water gets Martin Skrtel.

The grass is always greener on the other side unless Martin Skrtel has been there, in which case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

The French have already surrendered to Martin Skrtel just to be on the safe side.

When Martin Skrtel talks, everybody listens. And dies.

On his birthday, Martin Skrtel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Martin Skrtel grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Martin Skrtel is the only one who can touch MC Hammer.

Martin Skrtel doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

There is no such thing as global warming. Martin Skrtel was cold, so he turned the sun up.

by **Emerald Red** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:47 pm

Toffeehater wrote:Great pic emerald , i take it its your work because of the Sr signature below . How long did it take you to do that?

About 2 hours. I'm doing a series of them with that art style.

by **Toffeehater** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 4:15 pm

Needless to say , you've got real talent mate . The series are all on skrtel?

:laugh:

@ Bob post , good addition

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