Jokes thread - Post your funniest jokes here

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Postby PhiLFC » Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:11 pm

daxy1 wrote:
PhiLFC wrote:Conversation overheard between two gay cowboys..

"Y'up?"

"Yip"

i think phil get's off his horse and drink's his milk what u think pilgrim???..... :D

I think no  :D
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Postby bunglemark2 » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:47 pm

What's brown and looks in the window ?
A nosey :censored: !!
http://s2.tinypic.com/30ldif7_th.jpg
See yooo, Judas. Yoo're gettin' on mah titz !
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Postby bunglemark2 » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:48 pm

Boo-hissssss.....Censored ?
http://s2.tinypic.com/30ldif7_th.jpg
See yooo, Judas. Yoo're gettin' on mah titz !
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Postby clik » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:13 pm

man receives letter saying he has won sweets that weigh the same as his penis, so he has his penis weighed and was presented with a tic-tac.
tickled me:)
Dreams do come true......Istanbul 2005
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Postby anfieldadorer » Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:24 pm

The manager worked in very expensive brothel in town just served a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 30s.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"I want to see Cheryl," the man replied.

"Sir, Cheryl is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the manager.

"No. I must see Cheryl," was the man's reply.

Just then, Cheryl appeared and announced to the man that she charged US$5.000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out US$5.000 bills, gave them to Cheryl, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Cheryl.

Cheryl explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still US$5.000

Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Cheryl and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Cheryl and they went upstairs.

After their session, Cheryl questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.

The man replied, "Colorado."

"Really" she said. "I have family in Colorado!"

"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's courier. She asked me to give you your US$15.000 inheritance."

:laugh:
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Postby afs66 » Sat Oct 07, 2006 2:38 am

Jack who hasn't seen his own ars.e before, decides playing football. While playing on the pitch, David hardly kicks the ball towards Jack's ars.e .
Jack fears and grievously runs towards changing room by rubbing his ars.e.
Suprized David follows Jack and asks with guilt feelings: "Don't exaggerate. What happened to your ars.e?"
Jack furiously answers: "You bastar.d!!! You have sundered it"

:rasp
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Postby 112-1077774096 » Sat Oct 07, 2006 2:48 am

afs66 wrote:Jack who hasn't seen his own ars.e before, decides playing football. While playing on the pitch, David hardly kicks the ball towards Jack's ars.e .
Jack fears and grievously runs towards changing room by rubbing his ars.e.
Suprized David follows Jack and asks with guilt feelings: "Don't exaggerate. What happened to your ars.e?"
Jack furiously answers: "You bastar.d!!! You have sundered it"

:rasp

maybe it doesnt survive the translation      :no
112-1077774096
 

Postby 112-1077774096 » Sat Oct 07, 2006 2:56 am

aer lingus plane coming in to land at liverpool, the pilot says "jeez that runway is short", the co pilot says "it sure is, but look how wide it is"




:D
112-1077774096
 

Postby account deleted by request » Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:02 am

peewee wrote:
afs66 wrote:Jack who hasn't seen his own ars.e before, decides playing football. While playing on the pitch, David hardly kicks the ball towards Jack's ars.e .
Jack fears and grievously runs towards changing room by rubbing his ars.e.
Suprized David follows Jack and asks with guilt feelings: "Don't exaggerate. What happened to your ars.e?"
Jack furiously answers: "You bastar.d!!! You have sundered it"

:rasp

maybe it doesnt survive the translation      :no

Jack who has never seen his own a.rse before, goes for a kickabout with his mate David. While they are playing David kicks the ball hard and catches Jack on his a.rse. Jack looks down and screams and runs off to the changing rooms rubbing his a.rse.
         David surprised at Jacks reaction asks Jack whats up with his a.rse.
Jack replies, you b.astard ,youve cracked it.

Still not a winner, but maybe its the way I tell em. :(
Last edited by account deleted by request on Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby afs66 » Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:03 am

peewee wrote:maybe it doesnt survive the translation      :no

Sorry,i guessed that :no
i can understand your writings,
but i am not able to write clearly :sniffle
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Postby afs66 » Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:09 am

s@int wrote:youve cracked it.

not cracked, i meant "sunder" or "split into two"
Sorry guys. I have to admit that was a bad experimentation
I want PhillFC. I'm sure Phill would understand me :p
I promise it will never happen again :D
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Postby 112-1077774096 » Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:31 am

ok mate now i get it    :D
112-1077774096
 

Postby afs66 » Sat Oct 07, 2006 4:15 am

peewee wrote:ok mate now i get it    :D

:bowdown
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Postby jkop » Mon Oct 09, 2006 4:07 pm

What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?....................DAMN. :D
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          Faugh a Ballagh.
                YNWA
        Healy......Healy !!!!!
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Postby clik » Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:37 pm

what d'ya call a russian at a rave?


ian mafaceov:)
Dreams do come true......Istanbul 2005
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