Liverpool FC Forum

by **Roger Red Hat** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:27 pm

I need to hear some gags about Bernard Manning. I hated the fat fk from the moment I saw him. I have wish him dead more times than i care to remember and now it's come true. GET IN!

I need to hear some jokes about him, come on folks...

by **dawson99** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:37 pm

erm,...how couold u tell if bernard manning was well hung?

if u can fit 2 fingers between his fat neck and the noose then he wasn't?

sorry...

by **112-1077774096** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:34 pm

bernard

R.I.P

many people don't understand that you had an act whilst in real life having many friends of many different races and religions.

by **dawson99** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:01 pm

peewee wrote:bernard

R.I.P

many people don't understand that you had an act whilst in real life having many friends of many different races and religions.

i dont get it :suspect:

by **neil** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:04 pm

yeah R.I.P

he didnt do honour killings or take hostages and chop their heads off, he made people laugh.

by **stmichael** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:22 pm

I have heard various reports about his charitable deeds over the years so I think there was a genuine kindness there that would appear out of sync with the on stage persona. As for his talent, though not my cup of tea I would have to concede that he had great timing and ability to deliver his material. I suppose the crux of the discussion is whether or not that material has validity.

My tuppence worth is that by modern standards most people would see Manning as racist. Society seems to have passed its own judgement on this quite clearly since Manning and his ilk have barely featured on tv for a good many years. His material may once have been accepted by a fairly wide audience, but not any more.

He should be filed away in the history filing cabinet alongside the likes of Benny Hill (albeit for different reasons).

For me there's nothing to see here.

by **The Ace1983** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:21 pm

Bernard Manning was a fat, wretched waste of air and i'll be outside the cemetary gates with my white suit and dancing shoes as soon as i can. Not only was he racist, he was as arrogant as he was thick and he could make two short planks look like a member of mensa.

I'm sorry for the loss of his family and my sympathies go to any man, woman or child who has lost a friend or more. But in my book, he was scum and I hope he burns. Slowly.

And I'm sorry if this offends some of you, but some of the things he said and did made me feel more than ashamed to come from a country that could produce something like him. And I don't like being ashamed of Great Britain. If there is a God, he'll be nowhere near him right now.

by **ste123lfc** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 5:42 pm

apparently bernard manning said his dad died peacfully in his sleep, not like the 42 screaming passengers on the bus he was driving.

by **Lando_Griffin** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:17 pm

I think people need to understand that he only played to his audience, and such racist jokes were accepted by the majority in the 70's and 80's. It's only in recent years, with the influx of many new races, that people have altered their views.

Back in the 70's, a moderate, accepted view would have been "Oh, foreigners - dirty, filthy scum."

Nowadays, that's nigh-on a hanging offence.

I'm not saying I agreed with Manning, and I'm not defending racism.
I'm simply saying he was a comic for a time gone by, and to judge him by today's standards, where he was virtually banned from TV and radio, is unfair.

Let's be honest; The character Borat is just as racist as Bernard Manning, yet people think that's great.

Double standards, people.

Anyhoo - R.I.P. Bernard - may you meet a black man up there to change your views.

by **woof woof !** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:57 pm

Manning Joke

"to those of you that think I'm racist , my father died in Auschwitz .

he fell out of the machine gun tower "

:laugh:

Some might find that distasteful, personally I'm pmsl.

by **woof woof !** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:52 pm

More Manning racism

An Irish fella is asked if he would fu'ck a gorilla for £2000.

He replies "I would , on three conditions, 1, I don't have to kiss the gorilla, 2, my family never hears about it , and 3

you give me a couple of weeks to get the £2000 together"

by **destro** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:46 pm

A bloke once asked me how to get into Maine Road, i said go round the corner and you will see two ques, one big one small, dont join the big one thats for the chippy :laugh:

One of the comedy greats, i saw him twice at his Embassy Club and laughed non stop. People say hes a Racist and that he hated Black people, not true, he hated everyone when he was on that stage. You moved out of your seat at your peril, if you needed the toilet you held it in, if you needed a drink you waited.

He was a dinosaur of comedy who never changed his ways, if it was funny in the 70,s it was funny in the 80,s and 90,s.

The PC brigade bang on about how he was a racist, he was no more racist than Richard Prior, Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy but they are black so it is deemed acceptable, what utter b.ollox.

If you didn't like his material you didn't go and see him, buy his videos or watch him on the TV, just the same as you wouldn't take your kids to watch Chubby Brown.

IMO sadly missed

by **The Manhattan Project** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:14 pm

I constantly read about this "PC Crowd" or "PC Brigade" as if it's some kind of boogeyman.

The fact is that society simply moves on.

What may have been funny to some at one point in history just isn't to most of society today because it's seen to be outdated, obsolete and ignorant.

Some in their working mens clubs stick to what they find funny, but they become a minority.

It's not "PC" but simply the progression of society towards greater tolerance and acceptance that having black skin isn't really grounds for a joke.

Chris Rock uses the n-word, but it's in a context with some kind of social message and even that raised controversy and criticism. Eddie Murphy in his "Delerious" routine was afraid of getting AIDS on his lips by kissing. It was just a different era and he couldn't get away with that today. Characters like Bruno/Ali G/Borat aren't racist but instead are aimed at bringing out other people's ignorance.

Manning simply made jokes about the fact that certain people looked and sounded different, which is the lowest and easiest form of comedy. His older and less educated audience wouldn't get "the joke" as meaning "he's making fun of everyone!" or "he's making a sociological satirical point" but rather would laugh and think "yeah, those Pakis/Niggers/Whoever really are funny" and that is the problem.

I say good riddance.

by **neil** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:47 pm

I went for a :censored:

during his act and he called me a cheeky big nosed :censored:

, I got so bitter that I thanked mohammed he died today, no hang on thats wrong, I'm actually not an over sensitive introvert with a chip on my shoulder and I actually laughed with the rest of the room. Our country has disappeared Bernie lad, lost.

by **RAGE UK** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:37 pm

The man was a legend in his day.
Most of the stand up comedians in the late 60s- 70s-and 80s would now be considered as racists.
Including Jim Davidson-mike reed-Roy chubby brown-frank Carson-ect
But they are comedians they tell jokes about every one in every walk of life they are jokes
Said to make us laugh.
If you pay me enough money I will go on stage and tell raciest jokes to I’m not a raciest.
But raciest jokes do make me laugh because they are just jokes.
Mind you Roy chubby brown I’m quite sure is a raciest but I love his jokes.
R.I.P Bernard you have always made me pmsl.

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