Liverpool FC Forum

[dawson99]

and my own fave:

your girlfriend is so fat when she wore an xman tshirt a helicopter tried to land on her

[Garymac]

If you see a fat bird and her fit mate in the club the best is go up to the fatty and say

Gary "wanna dance love"
Fatty "ohh yes that will be nice"
Gary "Sound the dancefoors over there now fu*k off why i chat ye mate up"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[72-1136150807]

Thats cold!!

But I think, I might just use it!!!

[Judge]

put down one liners?? mmmmm


''dole dossing waster'' springs to mind

[woof woof !]

Love the line in Aliens when a chauvinistic marine asks a female marine " Rodriguez, have you ever been mistaken for a man ? " She replies " No , have you ? " 

My own personal fave is " I've stepped in sh'it that's harder than you"

[112-1077774096]

i have used 'ive got underpants older than you'

[Roger Red Hat]

I once got into a scuffle with a lad and used the 'I've dropped bigger turds than you' line. It was just before he actually got in first and smacked me lights out.

[Garymac]

"You horrible bitter bluenosed tw*t"

and i like saying ugly birds have gotta face like a "Box of Frogs"

[woof woof !]

i like saying ugly birds have gotta face like a "Box of Frogs"

  I like Les Dawsons description of his Mother in Law , "She's got a face like a bag of spanners"   

[Garymac]

Another! "Bet shes got a fan*y like a ripped out fireplace"! 

[Judge]

bulldog chewing a spanner is a good one, classic, but good, or swap spanner for wasp

[Garymac]

"She must have fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down and landed face first on a concrete path covered with nettles and gravel"

[woof woof !]

To girlfriends and/or wives .

"I was so miserable without you it was almost like having you here "   

"How can I miss you when you won't go away ? "

[woof woof !]

"If you REALLY loved me ,you would have married somebody else "   

[Judge]

me ''i fucking homesick''

missus ''this is your home''


me ''i know and i'm fucking sick of it''