Liverpool goalkeeper Chris Kirkland was today facing another long spell on the sidelines after a freak injury set him back in his efforts to claim the number one jersey at Anfield. Kirkland, who has seen his Liverpool career dogged by injury, received a two millimetre cut to his chin while shaving.The Liverpool coaching staff are said to be infuriated with Kirkland as he was explicitly told by manager Rafael Benitez not to shave but instead to report to the Melwood training facilities where the club have employed someone to keep the stopper groomed in the hope of keeping him fit and away from such injuries.
Kirkland confirmed "Yes it's true. I cut myself shaving and am now facing three months on the sidelines". He added "we have a great medical team at Liverpool and i'm comming in everday to do some work on the injury and we are using french moisturiser which has helped as it is enriched with vitamin E". The moisturiser is believed to be the same brand as big brother scot Jason Cowes used during the duration of the channel four summer show.
Benitez added to Kirklands woe yesterday by docking him two weeks wages. He explained "I have bought the best gardener from Chelsea to mow the grass for Chris, the best umbrellas made from the finest persian materials to stop him getting wet and catching a cold and one of Wayne Rooney's £45 call girls to keep him company as we did not want his all important right hand damaged. Yet despite all this he has cut himself shaving and to say i'm dissapointed would be an understatment. He concluded "i told Chirs to take percautions with the call girl but never would have thought he would injury himself with a mach 3 razor".
The £8 million buy from Coventry, touted as the future England goalkeeper, is now recovering which has led to Polish stopper Jerzey Dudek keeping his place between the sticks despite a poor run of form.