Liverpool FC Forum

by **dawson99** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:43 pm

Monday
Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" - those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size pack of Alka-Seltzer.

Afternoon Snack - Drink the Alka-Seltzer

Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky Fried Chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

Tuesday
Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw

Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put fiftty pence in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

Wednesday
Breakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night at El Flasho's

Lunch - Rennies and a coke

Dinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps

Thursday
Breakfast - Order out for pizza

Lunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

Friday
Breakfast - Eggs, sausage, and a muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder

Dinner - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

Saturday
Breakfast - Sleep through it.

Lunch - Ditto

Dinner - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Don't eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

Sunday
Breakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Mars Bar.

Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

Dinner - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mum and ask her about renting your old room.

by **SouthCoastShankly** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 6:01 pm

Genius.

by **Ciggy** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 7:20 pm

What about the Ciggy diet :down:

Bran flakes skimmed milk breakfast, lunch Special K, Skimmed Milk, tea: sea bass on the George Forman, steamed green beans, two boiled potatoes and a can of Pepsi Max :down:

I feel sick :suspect:

by **zarababe** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 7:58 pm

Yeuk me too

Zarababe's diet:

Brecky - Grapefruit

1st of 8 glasses of H20

lunch - salad

dinner- grilled meat (mmm) with spicy dressing and either boiled rice or potatoe..

Last of 8 glasses of H2O

Not that inspiring neither

by **drummerphil** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 8:16 pm

Ciggy wrote: What about the Ciggy diet
Bran flakes skimmed milk breakfast, lunch Special K, Skimmed Milk, tea: sea bass on the George Forman, steamed green beans, two boiled potatoes and a can of Pepsi Max
I feel sick

i bought one of those george formby grills recently,it cooks your steak how you like it and a little voice says "turned out nice again"

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 5:09 am

The Lando diet:

Eat sh*t.

The end.

by **kazza 1** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:53 pm

The Taxi driver diet.......

Breakfast...
Dont have time. Start at 7 but i dont get up till 20 to!!

Brunch....
A full soda consisting of sausage, bacon and egg washed down with an extra large mug of tea. Refill mug, then back on the road.

Snacks......
Stop at the 1st available garage. Stock up on Walkers crisps (chicken ones) and midget gems. Get back to the car only to find the desk clerk has been calling me and get a right bollixing......

Dinner.....
Whatever is in the fridge or a take away. I'm usually to tried to cook anything..

Have a bath, put on my pj's then into the fridge for a cold one.

Its the best diet ever. :buttrock

by **RichardLFC1** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:02 pm

Excellent dawson :grinning:

by **Lionheart** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:07 am

Dawson, why not just have so many cigarettes that you don't NEED to eat...problem solved. And you'll look soooooo cool doing it too!!!

Diets in England sound sooooooo appetising!!!!!!!!! BLEH!!!!

by **anfieldadorer** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:39 am

nice put there, dawson!

and too true on this one:

dawson99 wrote:Friday
Breakfast - Eggs, sausage, and a muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

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