by account deleted by request » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:29 pm
Alyson Rudd
Nostalgia is rubbish unless your team win every time
Any channel that makes John Barnes look at ease must have something going for it
There was a plaintive cry from across the hall. “Mum, when’s dinner ready?” Ah, I had forgotten about the boys’ chicken.
“Sorry,” I said, “I’m just watching Everton against Liverpool.” My eight-year-old, who keeps a keen eye on football fixtures, was suspicious. It was six o’clock and it was Wednesday. He stood next to me. “I won’t be long, I’m just waiting for Liverpool’s winner,” I said. “How do you know they will score?” he said. “Because it’s Liverpool FC TV,” I said. “And they wouldn’t show this game unless there was a dramatic Liverpool winner.”
And there was. Gary McAllister scored from a free kick deep into stoppage time and the Reds won 3-2. It was 2001. Everton were in danger of being relegated and Gérard Houllier greeted McAllister’s goal with the sort of hysterical laughter normally seen at a Carry On convention.
Liverpool FC TV is pure genius. Sky Sports runs classic Premier League encounters, but you cannot guarantee that Liverpool will be involved and, if they are, that they will win. Nostalgia is rubbish unless your team are victorious. Every club should provide their fans with a TV channel. It brings a whole new dimension to channel-hopping. Instead of jabbing away, despairing of the reruns of Top Gear, the acronym shows of CSI, JAG and NCIS and that the only decent film started 20 minutes ago, it is now possible to be guaranteed a channel worth watching. You might think, on the face of it, that a programme called Sixty Minutes With Mark Wright might be pushing its luck. And it is – but only because Wright is more than capable of chatting away for 460 minutes, and candidly, too. “We weren’t that bad; we’re not winning titles today, either.”
John Barnes hosts his own show and is quite simply more relaxed than we have ever seen him before, comfortable with tackling controversial issues and exposing his chest hair. I bet you didn’t know that Tommy Lawrence, the Liverpool goalkeeper known as the Flying Pig, was the son of a man who worked in atomic research, but Barnesy teased that information out of him and settled once and for all the reason why Lawrence was considered a soaring swine. There is no reason, but Lawrence was the very first sweeper ’keeper with a brief to hack down attackers as long as he was outside his area.
I took a peek at Celtic TV and was obviously really tempted to watch Brother Walfrid, the story of Celtic’s founding father and the campaign to build a monument in his honour, but I couldn’t in case I missed one of LFC TV’s top tens or, as the station likes to call them, Kop 10s. I bet you did not know that Kenny Dalglish would be awarded the top spot in a countdown of all-time Liverpool No 7s, but I was surprised to see that Harry Kewell and Nigel Clough made it on to the list.
Given that for any fan there is a duty factor involved here and it is almost impossible to not stick with LFC TV without feeling disloyal, it is just as well the station has decent production values. Every ten minutes or so there is a short ad break bracketed by a collage of Ian Rush, arms in the air, Emlyn Hughes grinning wildly and Steven Gerrard raising the European Cup. LFC TV is friendly and classy feel-good telly and it is always there. Not so Celtic TV, nor indeed Rangers TV, which, on Saturday, when Scotland faced an immense game against Italy, shut down altogether. There was no caption saying, “We’re off down the boozer all day”, but there probably should have been one out of courtesy. There must have been at least one Old Firm fan who would yearn for a rerun of a classic league game from 1993-94 in place of international fare.
Certainly, there were plenty of Liverpool fans who much preferred, given the injury to Yossi Benayoun, to give Israel v Russia a miss and watch a rerun of Liverpool’s recent trip to Wigan Athletic instead. It was a clever choice, given that Benayoun scored the winner. I now eagerly await the Kop 10 Kosher Kicks.