Liverpool FC Forum

by **Bad Bob** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:19 pm

Pepe: Oh Papa Homer your are so learn-ed.
Homer: It's pronounced learnd son, learnd.

by **Bad Bob** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:20 pm

Marge: coffee
Aussie barkeep: beer?
Marge: COFFEE
A.B.: BEER
Marge: C-O-F...
A.B.: B-E...

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:21 pm

Renee (Moe’s girlfriend): Really, you think I’m gorgeous?
Moe: Yeah, well the parts that are showing. I guess you could have a lot of weird scars or a fake :censored:

or something.
Renee: You don’t talk to a lot of women do you?

by **The Ace1983** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:21 pm

Lou: Sir, there's been an explosion on Evergreen Terrace
Wiggum: Ugh, that's three blocks away.
Lou: It looks like there's beer coming out of the old Simpson place
Wiggum: Am preceeding on foot. Lou, call in a code twelve!
Lou: (on Radio) Pretzels! We need Pretzels!

by **Bad Bob** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:22 pm

Lisa (after drinking the water in the "It's a Small World" ride at Duff Gardens on Bart's urging):

"I am the Lizard Queen"

Later:

"Can't talk, coming down."

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:22 pm

Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

by **The Ace1983** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:22 pm

Moe to a woman: You look pretty clean.

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:23 pm

Homer: How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:23 pm

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

by **Bad Bob** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:24 pm

Jimbo: way to breathe, no breath dude!

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:25 pm

Ned Flanders: You ugly hate-filled man.
Moe: Hey. I may be ugly and I may be hate-filled but ... uh ... what was that last thing you said?

by **Bad Bob** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:25 pm

A favourite Lunch-Lady Doris moment:

"More testicles means more iron"

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:25 pm

Lisa: I'm an ugmo.
Homer: Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Father's have to say that little stuff.
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grandpa: No. You're homely as a mule's butt.
Homer: There. See?

by **The Ace1983** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:26 pm

Skinner: Hello, my name is Principal Sinner, er, Skinner
(children start laughing)
Skinner: Well I've lost them forever

by **Cool Hand Luke** » Mon May 08, 2006 9:26 pm

Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right.
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

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