Liverpool FC Forum

by **MilitiaRusher** » Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:57 pm

You are driving a schoolbus and you picked up 6 students on Road A. You then dropped 3 students and picked up another 4. You drove further downhill and picked up another 6 while dropping 4 on the way. 55% of the schoolbus population is male. How old is the bus driver?

[Insert Your Age]

by **wrighty (not mark!)** » Wed Nov 30, 2005 4:03 pm

mitch22 wrote:What is black and white and gets stuck in revolving doors

A nun with a spear threw her head

I thought you were going to say that it was a skunk with directional disorder syndrome

by **Red squirrel** » Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:02 pm

A pi.ssed up man decides to catch the night bus home and sits next to a lady on board.

The lady turns to him and looks him up and down in disgust...

She then barks at the drunk man "Your goin straight to hell"!

The man replys "Sh*t im on the wrong bus"!!!

by **ckay** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 5:44 pm

Gary Glitter says that if he is to be executed, he want's to be cremated after, and his ashes put into an Etch-a-Sketch!

That way, kids can still play with him!

by **Judge** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 5:52 pm

ckay wrote:Gary Glitter says that if he is to be executed, he want's to be cremated after, and his ashes put into an Etch-a-Sketch!

That way, kids can still play with him!

by **Judge** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:06 pm

by **fivecups** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:50 pm

My brother-in-law arrived into the house last Friday. "George Best has passed away", I told him.

"I know", he said, "I was walking passed the butchers on the way here and I saw a sign saying 'Best liver for sale' in the window"

PS. sorry if the Norn Irish 'gallows' humor offends anyone.

by **kazza 1** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:47 pm

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The Husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

:laugh:

by **ckay** » Fri Dec 02, 2005 9:47 am

I saw Kate Moss in town yesterday.
She's invited me to a party tonight but says I have to bring my own dope.

So are any of you guys free?

by **Woollyback** » Fri Dec 02, 2005 1:23 pm

bloke walks into boots chemists and says "can i have some viagra?". "have you got a prescription?" says the pharmacist

"No" says the bloke, "but will this picture of my wife do?"

by **AussieKopite** » Fri Dec 02, 2005 3:11 pm

What is the definition of a Tasmanian virgin?

A girl who can run faster than her brothers.

by **Woollyback** » Fri Dec 02, 2005 4:00 pm

why wasn't jesus born in wigan?

cos they couldn't find 3 wise men, never mind a virgin!

by **Woollyback** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 1:30 am

a rough old prostitute (not one of mine btw) walks up to a bloke in the street:

Prostitute: Do you want super sex?

Bloke: I'll have the soup thanks

by **66-1120597113** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 1:51 am

What was the last thing Hitler said to his men before they got into their tanks!!

Get into those tanks men!! :oh:

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 2:48 am

One day while was Himmler too busy visiting Goering's "sofa a la skin" room to supervise the gassing of the Jews, a compassionate German soldier felt the need to show some mercy to the victims, so he said "You may take one item with you into the gas chambers". (I know the Jews were told that they were showers, but for the sake of the jape - shut up!)
And so one by one the Jews walked into the chamber, each clutching an item of sentimental value. Teddies, photo's, etc.
Then came a man carrying a guitar. Like the others, he entered the gas chamber, the door was closed, and the cyanide was dropped in the top.
10 minutes later, the German soldier opens the door to clear out the dead bodies, when the guitar man strolls out unscathed.
"How ze f*ck did you zurvive ze gas, Jew!?!"
With a wry smile, the Jew holds up his guitar and says "Tunes help you breathe more easily."

Before anyone starts - I am not making fun of the holocaust, nor am I being racist. It's a joke - that is all.

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