Liverpool FC Forum

by **andy_g** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:22 pm

Woollyback wrote:what's got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and half a pig's head

but there's two i's in 2 chairs and half a pig's head

:upside:

by **Woollyback** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:36 pm

andy_g wrote:
Woollyback wrote:what's got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and half a pig's head

but there's two i's in 2 chairs and half a pig's head

but half a pig's head hasn't got any legs whatsoever and chairs haven't got any eyes so an aardvark may be required to hasten proceedings with a quick sniff of belly dancer and a kick up the 21st century fox

by **drummerphil** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:57 pm

Q..whats white and blue and if it fell from a tree would kill you.
A A fridge in a denim jacket.

by **andy_g** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 7:12 pm

Woollyback wrote:
andy_g wrote:
Woollyback wrote:what's got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and half a pig's head

but there's two i's in 2 chairs and half a pig's head

but half a pig's head hasn't got any legs whatsoever and chairs haven't got any eyes so an aardvark may be required to hasten proceedings with a quick sniff of belly dancer and a kick up the 21st century fox

i don't get it...

what, never?

:laugh:

by **Woollyback** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:52 pm

andy_g wrote:
Woollyback wrote:
andy_g wrote:
Woollyback wrote:what's got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and half a pig's head

but there's two i's in 2 chairs and half a pig's head

but half a pig's head hasn't got any legs whatsoever and chairs haven't got any eyes so an aardvark may be required to hasten proceedings with a quick sniff of belly dancer and a kick up the 21st century fox

i don't get it...

what, never?

where's that little scampateer dom when you need him eh? :Oo:

by **neil** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:49 pm

knock knock
who' there?
sit on a leaf and wait for autumn
sit on a leaf and wait for autumn-who?
a fridge !
:oops:

by **66-1120597113** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:04 pm

neil wrote:knock knock
who' there?
sit on a leaf and wait for autumn
sit on a leaf and wait for autumn-who?
a fridge !

WTF Neil

by **matrix** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:57 pm

maybe this shouldnt go in this thread but im putting it in because its the biggist joke ive ever heard...from the daily star over the weekend newcastle are to put a 10 million bid in for real betis winger joaquin :laugh:

...that wouldnt even get you his left peg

by **Mikz** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:58 pm

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
:laugh:

by **andy_g** » Tue Nov 29, 2005 1:07 am

by the way - i'd like to support garymac in his statement that he isn't me. if he was i'd have noticed.

by **Lando_Griffin** » Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:34 am

Jose Mourinho wins a FIFA commendation for Gentlemanly conduct.

by **AussieKopite** » Tue Nov 29, 2005 11:44 am

Chelsea wanting access into G14.

(18 of Europe's most powerful and successful clubs founders include - Liverpool and Manchester United)

by **stmichael** » Tue Nov 29, 2005 11:59 am

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".

Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking
the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".

"Never" replies Brian

"Well just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Brian, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"

:laugh:

by **wrighty (not mark!)** » Tue Nov 29, 2005 12:24 pm

What's big, red and eats rocks?

A big red rockeater

by **Woollyback** » Tue Nov 29, 2005 12:29 pm

what's brown and sticky?

shit

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