Liverpool FC Forum

by **Woollyback** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:12 pm

woof have you seen the film "reefer madness"? it was a government anti-marijuana short film from circa 1930, it was shown at the 051 cinema as a short before fear & loathing in las vegas, absolute comical genius! :laugh:

by **Garymac** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:52 pm

Luis garcia has scored a Hat Trick for Spain, may sound b0llocks but its true as..........dont know true as pie.

by **drummerphil** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 12:09 am

there you go, in your rightful place.....Www.lovemyshoes.net

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:03 am

Now, a full week early, Utter B*llocks TV is proud to present the premier of "The Adventures of Meet Blob and Die". Programme follows shortly...

...

.......

............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...in cartoon-strip-form.

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:23 am

"MBAD was strolling in the local park, taking in the fresh air and flora, when at the other end of the path he noticed a familiar face. It was his Father's killer!
It was Monty Matchstick Man!!!"

[IMG]http://img399.imageshack.us/img399....MG]

See the story in full colour!!! Click on the link above!!!!

Next time on "The Adventures of MBAD":

The meeting! MBAD comes face to face with his sworn enemy Monty Matchstick Man!!!
MBAD wants revenge!

by **drummerphil** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 12:35 pm

cant wait Lando

by **woof woof !** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 2:17 pm

Woollyback wrote:woof have you seen the film "reefer madness"? it was a government anti-marijuana short film from circa 1930, it was shown at the 051 cinema as a short before fear & loathing in las vegas, absolute comical genius!

Seen it ? I think I was in it. (hard to remember I was stoned at the time

)

by **Judge** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:29 pm

woof woof ! wrote:
Woollyback wrote:woof have you seen the film "reefer madness"? it was a government anti-marijuana short film from circa 1930, it was shown at the 051 cinema as a short before fear & loathing in las vegas, absolute comical genius!

Seen it ? I think I was in it. (hard to remember I was stoned at the time )

you'd just had your 30th birthday woof :wwww

by **Judge** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:31 pm

woof woof ! wrote:

theres a picture of you woof in the bottom right hand corner with that tart

by **Lando_Griffin** » Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:40 am

Who fancies me?
Come on - out with it. Who was it that put a dildo in my pillowcase and fluffy handcuffs in my PJ bots?

Which one of you's a poofter?

I demand to know so I may beat you about the head with said dildo, then laugh and snigger at you from a secluded corner of the room, with the protection of my mates and a chastity belt.

I also want to know why I've just poo'd a little in my pants. Why is that? There's no reason I can fathom!

Another question - why is it that no matter how much you wipe your anus after a poo, quite often you have to go back and do it again half an hour or so later? What perverse reason could there be for such an inconvienience?

Whats the deal with chocolate rasins aswell? Who decided it'd be a good idea to mix a shrivelled-up fruit with a woman's comforter? What next - Oranges with Dear Judy? Vibrator bananas? Possibly even Hagen Daz Ice cream with grapes!?! When will it ever end?
And while I'm on that note, why do women get all these concoxtions, but us men don't get a fishing rod that doubles as a pub? Or a penknife with boobies in it? What about a car that comes with a set of women, rotating between Britany Spears, Kelly Brooke, Cathrine Zeta Jones, Jakki Degg and Paris Hilton to suck you off while driving to and from work? These are practical inventions that would do more for the "stop wars - eat grass" brigade than chaining themselves to the railings of the butchers and burning lamb caseroles. Do the oiks in charge not realise that a freshly-gobbled worker is a happy worker? Do the "Meat is murder, but fish is justifiable homocide" party not recognise that less men would eat Barr Barr Black Sheep if they were getting their jollies from a world famous pop-singer!?!
These issues must be addressed! I am sick and tired of listening to women moan and moan and moan. Why has there never been a bint-proof gag invented? Surely even the most Politically Correct feminine-equality activist can see the virtues of this!?! And why no remote-controls, specifically designed to turn your wife/girlfriend on at the push of a button, rather than the labourous and dated "foreplay" routine dreaded by manly men the world over? Then they could sell an extension-pack which allows you to turn your woman off when you've had enough.
Another blatantly obvious device in great need of production is a system to ensure bog roll never EVER runs out. Especially when your mid-verse, and you realise you've got no songsheet.

I feel there are so many things the inventors have missed. Women are catered for handsomely.
It's about time the blokes had some comforts.

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 4:30 am

And while I'm here, I vote that fat women should be banned from wearing tight-fitting clothes, and skirts/other revealing attire. It's unnerving. It makes me nausious.
Furthermore, I feel that it's only right that gorgeous women should be required to wear next-to-nothing permanantly, or until they start a relationship with me. Then they have to dress like a fat girl. (Until bedtime!!!!!)

Another thing - why am I drinking alone in here? The prices are cheaper in here than the scank-bar over the road. F*cking Dog and Gorilla! It's nothing but a flea-pit with lard dripping from the ceiling!
This bar's much nicer. Friendly atmosphere, Ciggy, the stunning buxom barmaid struggling to serve, but providing us all with an unintentional titty-tussle show in the meantime!

I don't get why this bar lies empty. Do you want Karaoke, is that it?

OK feckers. You asked for it.....

"Now I go cleaning windows to earn an honest Bob,
For a nosey-parker it's an interesting job,
Now it's a job that just suits me,
A window-cleaner you would be,
If you could see what I can see,
when I'm cleaning windows."

There - are you happy?

Right, get singing "Country Roads", and stop your foul whining you pieces of distended rectum.

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The utter bllocks bar - Da mutha fucin place 2 tlk sh#t. wkd