Liverpool FC Forum

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:18 pm

Q) Why is Michael in debt ?

A) Because he's always Owen

Owing ... get it ?

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:22 pm

This bloke walks into a pub and half his head is a big orange.

'I'll have a pint of lager, please.'

'No problem, coming right up... ... I can't help noticing, but half your head appears to be a big orange.'

'Yeah, had that for a while now.'

'How did that come about, if you don't mind me asking?'

'I was in this old junk shop when I found a lamp and when I gave it a rub this genie appeared. He offered me the standard three wishes, and I said: 'For my first wish, I'd like every woman I ever meet to fall madly in love with me.' So the genie waves his genie hands and suddenly there's women looking at me. Then the genie says: 'What will your second wish be?' I said: 'I'd like a wallet with £1million in it, and I can never lose it, it can't be destroyed, and every time I spend any of the money, it'll be replenished.' And the genie says: 'Your wish is granted and my wallet is immediately chocked full of money! Now, what will your third and final wish be?' So I said: 'I'd like half my head to be a big orange'.

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:26 pm

Sven comes in from a training session and goes in to the showers where he sees a steaming turd.

goes back to the changing room and demands "OK, who's s##t on the floor?"

Heskey stands up, "I am boss. But I'm good in the air".

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:27 pm

Van gough goes into a bar for a beer,the bar man says"hello van,can i get you a beer?
"van says...."no thanks,ive got one ear".

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:30 pm

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen!!

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:31 pm

Q)Why did God invent the internet?

A)To teach men to W*nk with their left hands.

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:33 pm

Knock Knock... (who's there)... Bigish...

by **cheesecakery** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 2:35 pm

Q What time did the china man go to the dentist?

A 2:30

(tooth hurty ) get it?

by **116-1065305004** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 6:17 pm

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?

A:To go to the Shops

by **116-1065305004** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 6:18 pm

Q:What does Owzat & a Chef that keeps on dropping his pancakes both have in common?

A:They are both Useless t#s#ers

## ## ##

COME ON EVERYONE!

by **wiped** » Sat Jan 03, 2004 3:20 pm

Bird goes into a butchers and says ...
"Can I have 2lb of Bacon , 1lb of Suasages and a White Pudding ?"
Butcher says "Christ I betcha you're single"
Bird : "Wow , can you tell that just from my order ?"
Butcher : "Nah , you're a ugly c#nt"

by **Dom1** » Sun Jan 04, 2004 8:43 pm

Big Al.

..............thats the biggest,fattest and best joke of the year!!

Dom1

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