Liverpool FC Forum

Lee J wrote:

Judge wrote:

Lee J wrote:

Judge wrote:

Lee J wrote:look i dont make a habit of tupping fatties...


...but if it's 2am and i'm as 'p!ssed as me grandmas mattress' then i'll take owt. lol

me too, in fact the fatter the better, especially ones with sweaty flaps and a minge that smells like grimsby docks on market day 

get out mucky sod 

sorry about the delay in posting ana answer I was giving lee a good kicking for catching him with my 8 stone rottweiller 

  some things are best kept to yersen

sorry mate had to tell 

7_Kewell wrote: @ this thread

you would 

not surprising since you wanted to tub that fattie from work

Judge wrote:

7_Kewell wrote::laugh: @ this thread

you would 

not surprising since you wanted to tub that fattie from work

she wasn't THAT fat...

7_Kewell wrote:

Judge wrote:

7_Kewell wrote::laugh: @ this thread

you would 

not surprising since you wanted to tub that fattie from work

she wasn't THAT fat...

size 22 i heard 

dawson99 wrote:she was sunbathing wearing an xman tshirt and a helicopter landed on her

      

woof woof ! wrote:Never sh'agged a fattie    I did however have a night of terror with a Greek hunchback .

It was thirty odd years ago but the nightmare is still with me . I was making my way overland from India  back to the UK and somehow ended up on a small island about a hour out of Athens where I met this couple ,an English fella and his Greek wife. She wasn't bad looking BUT did have an enormous hump and a walk that Quasimodo would have been proud of. One night I'm sitting in the taverna and in she shuffles minus her husband, turns out he's gone to Athens on business and won't be back till the next day. We had a meal and a few ouzos after which (being the gentleman I am) I offered to escort her home. We got to her door and she invites me in . Now just to be clear, sex with this Greek bellringer was the furthest thing from my mind, she was however a very intelligent woman and a great conversationalist so in I went and we spent the next couple of hours emptying a bottle of brandy whilst discussing life the universe and everything......... I'ts now 3am and I'm making ready to leave when she says "why don't you stay here tonight , you can sleep in one of the spare rooms ". Being well p'issed by now I was more than happy to stumble into one of the spare bedrooms and collapse onto a big brass bed, and thats when the terror began.

I'd only been on the bed for a couple of minutes when I heard the faint but distinct scrape scrape scrape as she dragged one foot behind the other slowly approaching my door. In true hammer house of horror style the door opened with a long drawn out creak that had my hair standing on end and into the room shuffled Quasimodo dressed in a long white nightgown and carrying a lit candle .
Without a word she approached the bed , set down the candle , hitched up her nightgown and sat on my face ! Lads, I was blowing bubbles out of my f'ucking ears . I was torn between a feeling of compassion and the desire to throw up as this creature bore down on my face with increasing ferocity, but when she started to yodel I thought "fu'ck, at this rate she's was gonna break my teeth" . Summoning up what stamina I had left I forced her off my face and onto the floor where I proceeded to do the dirty deed. I was thinking to myself "let's get this over as quickly as possible" when I noticed that with her legs raised of the ground she was rocking backwards and forwards on her hump , requiring absolutely no effort from me . To my everlasting shame I have to admit I began to enjoy it .   I'll spare you the rest of the sordid details but suffice to say that when I passed her in the street the following day her gammy leg was dragging even further behind than usual and when I greeted her the gimp blanked me completely !!!

This still tickles me, my favourite post, and this thread is just fecking hillarious, love it.     

Sabre wrote:The first one? or the last one?

I have to admit that despite my current girl is thin, what I like is a bit of meat, not FAT as in FAT, but a bit of meat, with good tits. With age you realise that the most important thing is to find a girl who the time you spend with her is not boring, but when it comes to sex, I have to be honest, I like a bit of meat.

My first fatty experience was a girl in La Rioja, I spent my summers in a village of 1500 people in which at nights you could do only two things, have a good fight with the guys of the neighbour village or sex.
I met there a girl from Bilbao who was chuffed to meet another basque, as she was one of this anti Spanish basques. I hid a bit my Spaniardship because my dick was commanding my actions at that moment and we ended up in the barn of my uncle.

I don't want to enter details but that girl kept my thing hard all the night and we saw the sun rise in the morning.

The worst thing of the experience was actually the barn, because you always thought it was comfortable to over a heap of straw, but the reality was quite itching even the next day. Not to mention all sort of bugs associated to cattle and horses kept my balls red of irritation the next day.

That day I leart a fatty with big tits can be fun. That day I learnt that a car is a better place to than a barn.

still hilarious. what beautiful use of the english language