Liverpool FC Forum

by **AussieKopite** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 7:39 am

Woollyback wrote:why wasn't jesus born in wigan?

cos they couldn't find 3 wise men, never mind a virgin!

same goes for Manchester.

by **zarababe** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 12:00 pm

neil wrote:knock knock
who' there?
sit on a leaf and wait for autumn
sit on a leaf and wait for autumn-who?
a fridge !

that's the funniest one.. one of the funniest things posted on here

by **mitch22** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 4:38 pm

So i was playin darts last nite

Fella says closest to the bull

He goes baaaaa

i went moo

by **kopite** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:18 pm

why did the golfer take 2 pairs of trousers ?

incase he got a hole in one

by **The Ace1983** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:36 pm

What's the difference between Everton and a rubbish tip?

One's a pile of smelly, unsightly trash with no real value, and the other is the place where your refuse goes.

by **drummerphil** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 10:08 pm

How do you make a dog drink?

Put one in a blender.

by **Woollyback** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 10:52 pm

how d'you get a nun pregnant?

sh@g her

by **The Ace1983** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:12 am

Q: What has two legs and bleeds?

A: Half a dog

by **The Red Baron** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:45 pm

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly
gates.

"In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" said Saint Peter.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "you may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just how do those symbolize Christmas?"

The man replied, "They're Carols."

by **hawkmoon269** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:50 pm

RB that must win!!!

FAF tho

by ***XABIALONSO*** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:54 pm

kopite wrote:why did the golfer take 2 pairs of trousers ?

incase he got a hole in one

* cough cough *^

by **Woollyback** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:34 am

Welcome back to the fold RB :cool:

According to your post count you joined this month and have notched up 1508 posts. Given that it's only the 5th of December that equates to an impressive 300 posts per day, that's only about 4 less than judge!

Welcome back you f*ckin spammer! :laugh:

by **The Red Baron** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:40 am

This fellah runs out of petrol on a country road late at night,In the distance he sees a farmhouse;

KNOCK KNOCK,Sorry to disturb you can I use your phone
No phone here Iam afraid,you are welcome to stay the night,but you will have to share with my son.
With that a wooly woofta appeared
Fu.k that said the man,Iam in the wrong joke.

by **babu** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:43 am

During made cow diease scare:

Two cows are standing in a paddock.
1st Cow: Hey mate are you worried about this mad cow's diease going around?
2nd Cow: why mate?, i am a feckin chicken.

by **neil** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:45 pm

WOMAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 13th Sep 2005

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping
in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter
to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew something was wrong. He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. he just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else.

I cried myself to sleep.

scroll down

MAN'S DIARY
Saturday 13th Sep 2005

Liverpool lost to Fulham. Gutted. Got a :censored:

though!

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