by Paul C » Sun Jan 09, 2005 12:24 pm
I thought this was funny:
B ehind the scenes moves are underway to introduce some controversial new words to the ever expanding Oxford English Dictionary (OED).
Nothing new in that you may say but these words have their roots in the world of football and their acceptance into the august volumes of the OED are surely proof positive that the beautiful game has finally been accepted in the corridors of power.
We have been given a privileged preview of some of the much loved words that have found their way into the next volume and we are pleased to be able to let our readers have a sneaky peak too.
allardycian adj a person who just kind of looks all wrong.
chelski n 1 a gloating lottery winner of the most odious kind. 2 a vulgar person with no friends.
cheyrou (shay-roo) n a mythical white-footed land creature once believed to have inhabited parts of north-west England.
diouf (joof) n derived from the adjective duff: 1 useless, overpriced. vb 2 to petulantly direct a gobbitt of spittle towards innocent bystanders.
ellandroad n send someone to ellandroad to punish someone by sending them to a miserable place.
fergusonic adj a noise directed at referees, very much like the sound made by a broken set of bagpipes being squeezed through a puddle of muddy water, often accompanied by threatening facial contortions.
heskey n a large and voluminous structure giving the appearance of strength and solidity but one that nonetheless falls over in the most gentle of breezes.
huckerby n a person regularly promoted to a position way above his capabilities before being summarily demoted to a position he is too good to occupy: Brian Deane, Dave Bassett, Wales, and Peter Mandelson are all good examples of huckerbys.
kirkland vb to deliver to oneself a career threatening injury whilst performing a seemingly innocuous task: I kirklanded my left elbow opening the toothpaste this morning and now I can't walk.
Moyesian adj 1 of or pertaining to David Moyes. 2 denoting poverty, distress and madness: see also Dickensian.
nistelrooy (nistel roy) n a complicated manoeuvre involving a triple somersault with twist and tucked pike used in sport by international divers.
svengoran (sven yuran) adj Swedish origin. Present at every football match in the country at the same time.
tottenham vb to totter on the verge of being almost as good as mediocre only to fall back into abject awfulness at the first hint of difficulty: Tim Henman tottenhamed in a typical performance at this year's Olympic Games.
wenger (venga) vb 1 to miss seeing something so blindingly obvious that everyone else saw it. 2 to see something so obscure that nobody else saw it.