Whats your occupation? - Dont lie!

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Postby Mikz » Sun Jan 15, 2006 1:49 pm

I did some farm work during the summer,and without milking the situation,and sowing my wild oats id gladly have stayed there ,til the cows came home.


Id herd it was hard work but  :D i was as happy as a pig in s.hyte
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby Sabre » Sun Jan 15, 2006 1:52 pm

only if yer bash the bell-end out of it whilst the missus makes the tea! 


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

So that's why I was reading bellend all the time and I didn't find it in the Cambridge advanced learner dic!!!!!!!!!! It is Bell End... which I guess that is the end part of the c*ck, which, Andy, is a Spanish word that is very handy : "Capullo" (if you didn't hear it, you will in Barcelona, sooner or later)
Last edited by Sabre on Sun Jan 15, 2006 1:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Mikz » Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:01 pm

When i was a reporter i did a story on illegal pitbull fighting.I had no training and didnt master it,and -in this dog eat dog world, i realised i was barking up the wrong tree



??? cob on hard on? whippet out!!
Last edited by Mikz on Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby andy_g » Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:48 pm

Sabre wrote:Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

So that's why I was reading bellend all the time and I didn't find it in the Cambridge advanced learner dic!!!!!!!!!! It is Bell End... which I guess that is the end part of the c*ck, which, Andy, is a Spanish word that is very handy : "Capullo" (if you didn't hear it, you will in Barcelona, sooner or later)

:laugh:

well worked out, sabre... capullo is already on my list of overused spanish words but i didn't realise it meant bell-end. i thought it was just another general kind of insult. thanks for clearing it up for me  :D
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Postby drummerphil » Sun Jan 15, 2006 6:20 pm

I use to be a farmer and one day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead snuck into my farm.
I said to my Mrs, "I think I hear something outside."
The girls heard me open my door,and they all ran in different directions.
The brunette ran into the cow pen. The redhead ran into the pig pen, and the blonde ran into the potato patch.
I went to the cow pen and said,"Is there anyone there?" and the brunette said,"Mmmmmmmoooooo."
Then i went over to the pig pen and i said, "Is there anyone there?" and the redhead said, "Oink oink."
Then i went over to the potato patch and said, "Is there anyone there?" and the blonde said, "Potatooooo."


:D
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Postby mighty mo » Sun Jan 15, 2006 8:31 pm

bloody hell this thread is still going,where are you getting these one liners from
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Postby andy_g » Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:03 pm

i used to be a comedian but now the thought of it makes me gag
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Postby JBG » Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:23 pm

I used to work fixing streetlamps, but I saw the light and quit.
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Postby drummerphil » Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:25 pm

definately a contender for thread of the year already and its only half way through January.
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Postby 115-1073096938 » Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:25 pm

I used to make cuttlery but got stabbed in the back then told to fork off. :(
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Postby Mikz » Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:36 pm

I used to be a gymnast,I bent over backwards to please the trainor but he pulled the mat from under my feet.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby Mikz » Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:43 pm

I used to do voluntary work for the homeless...butt i managed to tramp on too many toes and soon  realised -beggars cant be choosers.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby Mikz » Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:44 pm

the whole episode left me down and out.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby Mikz » Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:30 am

I used to be a radiographer-but without trying to plaster over the cracks..I needed a clean break.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby 115-1073096938 » Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:48 am

They could obviously see right through you!
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