Trap 2 holds fond memories for me from back in the day when I was a young lad just starting out on the work road. I've worked at this place for 15 years now and over them years many a tale has emerged from Trap 2. However today just about sums up my rotten luck this week...
...I just finished trawling through 58 emails, made a brew and now I needed a dump. It has been a bit on the 'scratchy' side recently, I reckon I have a touch of 'Nobby Stiles' judging by the fact recently it feels like I've just sh!t a large potato covered in sandpaper. However, I hopped into trap 1, sat down on the throne and realised there was no ar$ewipe so I kegged up and shuffled around into Trap 2. There was a small quantity on the only roll in there so I shuffled out and had a nosey around for some more - all gone. Not a roll of bum wiper anywhere. The bog roll bandit has struck again.
I paddled back to trap 2 (I say paddled cos one of the urinals has a leak and when it flushes it covers the floor), I was clutching tightly the only bog roll in the building. I engaged the position and let loose my sandy potato - ouch!
Sent some text messages whilst I sat there for 10 minutes then I did something really stoopid...
...I let the bog roll slip from my grasp, it hit my shoe which cleverly diverted it to the left under the cubicle wall and out into the toilets... ...right into the water leak and thats where it stopped, soaking up the water.
Ever tried to wipe your ar$e with wet bog roll? not funny at all.
So what did I do I hear you all shout? Well i kegged up and went for a stiff legged walk down the corridor to the canteen, grabbed a handful of paper napkins and stiff legged it back, looking like John wayne.
why me? every feking time.