His approach to mamagement is completely differerent to that of say a Jose Mourihno, a Harry Redknapp, a Martin O'Neill or even a Gerard Houllier for that matter.
The aforementioned all used their man management skills by putting their arm around players, getting close to them and getting their response in that way. If you read Gerrard's book, he admits that Houllier was almost like a father to him. On the other Rafa doesn't get close to players, he has a mutual respect for them and expects them to do their talking on the pitch. Whenever he's asked about Gerrard for example, he never talks about him on the same terms as say a Mourinho would heap praise on Lampard (repeatedly calling him the best in Europe).
Because he is quite distant I think this does alienate certain individuals, Xabi being the latest one. The relationship broke down last summer in all fairness but Xabi being the brilliant professional that he is, he put it all behind him and gave us an outstanding season.