Liverpool FC Forum

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:10 am

scouser 'til I die wrote:haha is it perhaps a gladiator - glad he ate her

yayness

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:17 am

s@int wrote:
maypaxvobiscum wrote:A boy was at a fair and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

He wrote "your exact weight "

yup. how would u feel if u lost $$$ that way man....

heres a dirty one

waddya call it when a 90 yr old man masturbates successfully?

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 7:57 pm

Two helicopters take off at the same exact moment. They are flying across the country. One leaves New York and is flying to Texas at 500 miles per hour. The other leaves Texas and is flying to New York at just 450 miles per hour. Which one will be closer to Texas when they meet?

by **destro** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:01 pm

A Miracle

They will both be the same distance away from Texas other when they meet ?

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 4:31 am

destro wrote:A Miracle

They will both be the same distance away from Texas other when they meet ?

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:00 pm

On a beautiful spring day in the park, there were five female cats walking together and gossiping about their humans. Up ahead, there were five males walking together bragging about their conquests. When the two groups met, there were five cupids flying through the air. Next thing ya know, there were five couples walking away in separate directions. The couples began talking and soon found that they had amazing things in common. Well, long story short, we all know what happens to cats that fall in love in the springtime, oh my what a racket! Can you figure out who the couples were, what treats they liked, what their favorite activity was and how many kittens each had in their litter?

Male: Punkin, Batman, Billy, Jake, Dibii
Female: Pepper, Sally, Ruby, Spot, Starbuck
Snack: Chicken, Mice, Tuna, Ice Cream, Chips
Activity: Laser, String, Sleep, Beat Up, Ball
# in Litter: 1,3,5,7,9

1. The five males were: Jake, the one that liked tuna fish & had five kittens, the one that liked Spot, the one that liked to beat up other cats, and the one that loved ice cream.

2. The five females were: Starbuck, the one that had nine kittens, the one that liked to eat chicken & chase a ball, the one that liked to sleep, and the one that liked Punkin.

3. Dibii ( who had three kittens) liked to chase the laser light but not mice. On the other hand, Sally loved to chase mice but not string.

4. Batman didn't have a thing for Sally and he didn't have seven kittens. Billy, who thought of himself as very big & tough, had the most kittens & wasn't about to chase some stupid string around - what a waste of time!

5. Ruby loved to cuddle up to her male for a long afternoon nap in the sun but hated it when he ate his chips in bed. That may be the reason they didn't have the most kittens (they didn't have the least either).

6. Pepper & Punkin didn't have one kitten but they did like tuna fish.

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:15 pm

1) what does a blonde do when you tell her there's a dead bird?
2) how are women and hurricanes alike?
3) what did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? (there are 2 answers to this one)
4) whats a blonde's fave nursery rhyme?

by **destro** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:59 pm

maypaxvobiscum wrote:On a beautiful spring day in the park, there were five female Can you figure out who the couples were, what treats they liked, what their favorite activity was and how many kittens each had in their litter?

Batman+Spot=Chicken+Ball=1

Jake+Ruby=Chips+Sleep=7

Dibii+Starbuck=Ice Cream+Laser=3

Pumkin+Pepper=Tuna+String=5

Billy+Sally=Mice+Beat Up=9

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 12:00 pm

4 riddles above left unanswered
come on guys

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 3:18 pm

maypaxvobiscum wrote:1) what does a blonde do when you tell her there's a dead bird?
2) how are women and hurricanes alike?
3) what did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? (there are 2 answers to this one)
4) whats a blonde's fave nursery rhyme?

i shall answer my own riddles :down:

1) looks up and asks ''where?''
2) they both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave
3) nothing. they never met.
4) humpme dumpme

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 7:31 pm

a crime has been commited
a life has been taken
the name, add and personal info are known by the police
however this person shall never go to jail or trial
why?

by **red37** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 7:32 pm

A sterling effort.

Here's one.

An Oil tanker driven by one man and weighing 36 tonnes in total leaves the filling station and sets off on its journey.

About three quarters of a mile down the road there is a Bridge that has taken structural damage and is currently (coincidentally enough) --- restricted to a maximum gross weight clearance of, you guessed it! 36 tonnes... and not a kilogram more. Even more alarming is the fact that when upon driving onto the bridge...the Tanker decides to breakdown and is stuck fast on the ailing bridge which is in imminent danger of collapsing, plummeting the stricken vehicle 75 feet down into a ravine below! Especially so, when the distraught driver notices a large seagull has hopped onto his engine cover! :wwww

Why didn't this weight increase prove terminal then?

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 7:38 pm

red37 wrote:A sterling effort.

Here's one.

An Oil tanker driven by one man and weighing 36 tonnes in total leaves the filling station and sets off on its journey.

About three quarters of a mile down the road there is a Bridge that has taken structural damage and is currently (coincidentally enough) --- restricted to a maximum gross weight clearance of, you guessed it! 36 tonnes... and not a kilogram more. Even more alarming is the fact that when upon driving onto the bridge...the Tanker decides to breakdown and is stuck fast on the ailing bridge which is in imminent danger of collapsing, plummeting the stricken vehicle 75 feet down into a ravine below! Especially so, when the distraught driver notices a large seagull has hopped onto his engine cover!

Why didn't this weight increase prove terminal then?

....the amount of diesel during the journey so far used is equilevent to the weight of the seagull?

by **red37** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 7:44 pm

More or less, yeah. Well done.

by **destro** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 7:44 pm

He had used three quarters of a miles worth of Diesel by the time he reached the bridge, therefore the tanker would not weigh as much

Liverpool FC Forum

The maypax riddles daily - Can u get 'em right?

Who is online