"The typical ficklebugger tends to look at football in a linear fashion, they see players as mechanical devices that have automatic controls with no emotional or human substance. Then when a player is'nt preforming to their best ability they see them as transfer material"
The ficklebuggers syndrome tends to strike armchair footballers who spend their lives playing computer, football management games. These games give the ficklebuggers a false sense of knowledge and understanding of football.
The effects of this were highlighted recently on Liverpool Chat forum when a ficklebugger posted a topic where he selected his favourate 11 players. When other forum members challenged his veiws he exploded into a tirade of abuse, followed by self doubt, and shame.
The choosen tactic at the moment seems to be the use of the word "kid" apparently you cannot be more offensive to someone than call them kid.
Doctor Urtakinlepiss said "I've seen many cases of ficklebuggers over the years but in the last few weeks none have been as sad as the ficklebuggers who attacked Stephen Gerrard as being a traitor an a Judas, Gerrards preformance for his national team also lead him to be attacked, when it was obvious to everyone the lad was wrecked after carrying his team for a whole season. Likewise Michael Owen, who is to sign later this week, has been referred to as being only substitute material. My diagnosis of these people leaves me very sad indeed"
It seems that the ficklebuggers only attack world class players who have given everything for the club and more. Useless players seem to go ignored, at Liverpool for example Igor Biscan ( who's S**T) remains unscathed.
The coming summer months will no doubt once again prove to be a frenzied time for the ficklebuggers as they spread stories and rumours that everbody and their granny is signing for Liverpool FC this as doctor Urtakinlepiss explains is normal,
"one of the main charcteristics of ficklebuggers is that during the summer period the cerebral patterns in the brain start to create dillussional psychosis, this encourages the ficklebugger to exhibit omniscient behaviours
In other words they become know-it-alls.
thankfully once the football season starts and their predictions a lack of post match analysis make them more visible to the public at large, equally they retreat to the sanctity of their computer management games"
So good news to all you non-ficklebuggers the season is only six weeks away, the manager Benetiz seems ficklebugger free.
And remember the best way to work out who's a man or a mouse is to set a bit of cheese down!
by 