Liverpool FC Forum

by **woof woof !** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:40 am

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.

Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.

If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

by **dawson99** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:43 am

nice one woofy, i got a couple:

It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

All single women have a cat.

A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

by **Redman in wales** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:49 am

dawson99 wrote:All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

Damn those L-shaped sheets!!! :angry:

by **EddieC** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:51 am

A bomb can only be defused with seconds left. Anything over a minute & it's impossible.

by **jkop** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:34 am

At the start of a film, if someone shows a picture of their loved one to someone else they always end up dieing.

by **dawson99** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:35 am

The one that always used to bug me:

Superman can get shot a thousand times, but when someone throws a gun at him he ducks out of the way!

by **Judge** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:36 am

dawson99 wrote:The one that always used to bug me:

Superman can get shot a thousand times, but when someone throws a gun at him he ducks out of the way!

guns are usually heavier than bulletts dawson, dont you know owt!

by **Woollyback** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:01 pm

it's illegal for a film character to have more than 2 drags on a cigarette before having to stub it out

no film character ever has to lock his car doors

by **parrym1** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:04 pm

that superman one gets me to

by **parrym1** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:07 pm

id like to congratulate the mighty reds on winnin the group

by **parrym1** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:10 pm

YNWA

by **112-1077774096** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:12 pm

the policeman due for retirement will get killed

by **112-1077774096** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:13 pm

when people make arrangements for dinner with someone they never arrange a time or where they will meet, they just agree to have dinner without knowing where or when

by **taff** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:31 pm

Phone numbers are 555 all the time

And the hero's idiotic offspring will get in the way and be put in danger making the hero's task more difficult. Just fecking do what your told and stay out of the way :angry:

And while Im at it, whilst in danger from a mass murderer do not split up, stay in a secure area and get tooled up.

And the hero's dont get shot but are uncannily accurate with their fire

by **taff** » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:41 pm

One more thing, gangsters, youve got it made but ruin it with your terrible attitude, jealousy and in fighting. Remember why you became succesful in the first place and lay off the drugs :angry:

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