Liverpool FC Forum

by **The Red Baron** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 11:54 am

I dont know about you,but I have always thought of beach lifeguards as blonde, tanned muscular emptyheads
Stereotypical,I know but yesterday my preconceptions were confirmed.

I was walking along a totally deserted beach when I became aware of a lifeguard shouing me from the lifeguard station on the sea wall.Thinking there could be an Emergency,perhaps he needed my help or mobile phone or something I rushed to see what he wanted.

I scrambled up the slope,and there he was stood before me in all his glory,tanned,blonde and muscles rippling;

ME. "Everything ok mate what do you want"

Lifeguard. "Yeah everything is cool,Iwas just wondering if you had a tube of superglue."

I couldnt believe it a tube of superglue FFS.I looked in amazement then rifled through my pockets,"Ah sorry mate I must have come out without it."

The stupid c.nt had pulled the handle off the door,of the lifeguard station and wanted to glue it back on.

Now I have been asked some stupid questions in my time
but this ones up there with the best of them.
You must have been asked a few lets hear them.

by **mitch22** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:44 pm

When someone rings you on the house phone and asks where you are

by **mikanju** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:51 pm

You come home, soaked to the skin, and the wife says, "Is it raining"?

by **thegreedo** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:55 pm

I've had a couple of birds ask me If I wanted a blow job?? :no

by **anti-hero** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 11:01 pm

Can I ask you a question?

by **anti-hero** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 11:02 pm

thegreedo wrote:I've had a couple of birds ask me If I wanted a blow job??

Naturally, you declined?

by **thegreedo** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 11:04 pm

No Lando wasn't one of the girls!!

by **thegreedo** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 11:05 pm

Ask away Anti!

by **CardinalRed** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 6:01 pm

Why do they call Orange Jam marmalade...?

:cool:

by **RUSHIE#9** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 8:17 pm

The Red Baron wrote:I dont know about you,but I have always thought of beach lifeguards as blonde, tanned muscular emptyheads
Stereotypical,I know but yesterday my preconceptions were confirmed.

I was walking along a totally deserted beach when I became aware of a lifeguard shouing me from the lifeguard station on the sea wall.Thinking there could be an Emergency,perhaps he needed my help or mobile phone or something I rushed to see what he wanted.

I scrambled up the slope,and there he was stood before me in all his glory,tanned,blonde and muscles rippling;

ME. "Everything ok mate what do you want"

Lifeguard. "Yeah everything is cool,Iwas just wondering if you had a tube of superglue."

I couldnt believe it a tube of superglue FFS.I looked in amazement then rifled through my pockets,"Ah sorry mate I must have come out without it."

The stupid c.nt had pulled the handle off the door,of the lifeguard station and wanted to glue it back on.

Now I have been asked some stupid questions in my time
but this ones up there with the best of them.
You must have been asked a few lets hear them.

I can imagine your embarassment at leaving the house without you tube of super glue. :no

You should make sure you stick with it at all times....

Could somebody pass me my coat.

I'm the assisstant supervisor of the mail & parcel despatch department on a local business park and the other week one of our customers is passing me in the corridor and i've got a massive stack of mail and they ask me this:-
Customer: 'Are you collecting mail?'

Me:

by **anti-hero** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:01 pm

thegreedo wrote:Ask away Anti!

I already did..

You know, when someone goes up to you and says,

"Can I ask you a question?"

:rasp

by **Kash_Mountain** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:15 pm

The Red Baron wrote:I dont know about you,but I have always thought of beach lifeguards as blonde, tanned muscular emptyheads
Stereotypical,I know but yesterday my preconceptions were confirmed.

I was walking along a totally deserted beach when I became aware of a lifeguard shouing me from the lifeguard station on the sea wall.Thinking there could be an Emergency,perhaps he needed my help or mobile phone or something I rushed to see what he wanted.

I scrambled up the slope,and there he was stood before me in all his glory,tanned,blonde and muscles rippling;

ME. "Everything ok mate what do you want"

Lifeguard. "Yeah everything is cool,Iwas just wondering if you had a tube of superglue."

I couldnt believe it a tube of superglue FFS.I looked in amazement then rifled through my pockets,"Ah sorry mate I must have come out without it."

The stupid c.nt had pulled the handle off the door,of the lifeguard station and wanted to glue it back on.

Now I have been asked some stupid questions in my time
but this ones up there with the best of them.
You must have been asked a few lets hear them.

And as Rushie mentioned "stick with it at all times" but also make sure it's fresh supply, I mean tube of super glue

by **Woollyback** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:47 pm

when you say you're going away and somebody says "ooh anywhere nice?"

no, i've deliberately spent a months salary going somewhere sh1t

by **luvliverpool** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 11:23 pm

I work in an IT Company and we support mutliple clients. One time a woman called the desk and asked are we IT Support and the girl that answered the phone said "yes we deal with ALL IT issues" so the woman says the fridge in her office had run out of milk so what should she do!!!!!!

When the girl came and asked me what to say to her I burst out laughing then says she can either

A - Milk another cow
B - Go to shop and buy milk

I have had loads more but that was recent stupid question we had

by **Woollyback** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 11:33 pm

i don't believe you

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