Liverpool FC Forum

by **dawson99** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 4:08 pm

so, I have decided to stand up for us blokes, and this happened to me a while ago:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that b!tch knows I'm smarter than her.

by **Dundalk** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 4:12 pm

Class Dawson, that told her!!

by **daxy1** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 5:05 pm

very good dawson but for us that are married that wont happen my missus would cut me knackers off if i said that the old boiler!!!..... only jokin clair if your readin this they made me do it ..... :oops:

by **Sparky** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 6:22 pm

by **RUSHIE#9** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:15 pm

Dawson, the male race at every corner of this planet is standing and saluting you :bowdown

.

by **JC_81** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:20 pm

I've seen that one before but it's still quality

by **mitch22** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:52 pm

by **shanks72** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 12:22 am

mitch22 wrote:

by **LFC #1** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:33 am

Dawson you've posted that before.

by **Sabre** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:52 am

That's a Spanish old joke!!!

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