Whats your occupation? - Dont lie!

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Postby 66-1120597113 » Sat Jan 21, 2006 2:50 pm

I used to be a Paperboy ...it was windy one day and i got blown away..from then on it was all up in the air!

:down: :)
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Postby Mikz » Sat Jan 21, 2006 4:49 pm

Me too -I sold papers in Belfast town, and im glad it made no headlines.Its something i dont like to telegraph..(keep it in the bag will ya) its all over bar the shouting anyway :upside:
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby Mikz » Sat Jan 21, 2006 5:33 pm

I started my own weapons factory..it went off with a real bang,a booming success,but without having a snipe at anyone,there was a flare up and i was badly injured.Live by the sword ..die by it thats my motto..



Some say i was close..but that only counts in hore-shoes and hand grenades.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby andy_g » Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:53 pm

i tried to get a job in computers but after a long screening process i lost my drive. the manager asked me if i was man or mouse because something between us just didn't click. when i gave it up he was absolutely deleted. without wanting to sound too PC, or ram it down anyone's throat, i discovered it's best not to put the apple before the cart.

i'll get me coat (its a mac) :D
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Postby Mikz » Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:54 pm

I used to be a teacher...i had chalked up quite a reputation,and altho a class career and i enjoyed the role,i felt there was room for improvement.


Ah well,its back to the old drawing board.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby 66-1120597113 » Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:24 pm

I used to own a beer factory ! I had a major problem with one of my staff ..she used to start on me about hops..I told her to feck aff and go and get some!!

She came back with a skipping rope! :p
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Postby adamnbarrett » Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:18 pm

I used to be a hit man. I was always told I could knock em dead :p
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Postby Mikz » Sun Jan 22, 2006 1:38 am

I used to work in an abbottoir. Im not trying to invent a :censored: and bull story here,but being an animal lover-i was stunned,shocked and cut up at what went on,i turned chicken. I was like a lamb to the slaughter.
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby Woollyback » Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:15 pm

i used to be a syphillitic rent-boy with a herculean case of anal warts and a not inconsiderable penchant for incest, but then got a job playing for man u and changed my name to gary neville
b*ll*c*ks and s*i*e
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Postby Ciggy » Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:23 pm

and still have a bumfluff muzzy from when I was 16.
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011

REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby drummerphil » Mon Jan 23, 2006 6:42 pm

i use to work as a bag boy in a supermarket bagging peoples shopping up. One
day the supermarket got a new orange juice machines, and i asked if i could change my job and operate the juice machine

The manager says no.

i said, "But I've been working here for 3 years, why can't I run
the juice machines?"

The manager goes, "I'm sorry, but... baggers can't be juicers."





:D
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Bob Paisley : "Still we've had the hard times too - one year we finished second."

...
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Postby 66-1120597113 » Mon Jan 23, 2006 7:02 pm

drummerphil wrote:i use to work as a bag boy in a supermarket bagging peoples shopping up. One
day the supermarket got a new orange juice machines, and i asked if i could change my job and operate the juice machine

The manager says no.

i said, "But I've been working here for 3 years, why can't I run
the juice machines?"

The manager goes, "I'm sorry, but... baggers can't be juicers."





:D

Nice one Phil :laugh:
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Postby drummerphil » Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:29 pm

i'm guessing by the lack of activity that this thread of all threads  has now started to decline.
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...
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Postby drummerphil » Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:17 pm

I use to work on a psychic chatline run by Derek Acorah for £2 a minute,but got sacked after i caught him laughing at me and i hit him.

whoever says in life "you should strike a happy medium" was wrong.:D
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Bob Paisley : "Still we've had the hard times too - one year we finished second."

...
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Postby andy_g » Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:25 pm

drummerphil wrote:i'm guessing by the lack of activity that this thread of all threads  has now started to decline.

its because you've taken it to another level, phil, and we don't know how to respond


:D
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