They are not a mere work-man-like side, grafting out lucky results a la Everton 2004-05. No, no. Sh*tski are a dominant force in world football. Not because they are a conventional side crafted with genius managerial skills, nor a thriving youth academy. They are not enveloped with the passion of home-grown talent. They have no charm. They have no heart. They have borderline comatose support. Infact, they have the appeal of a semi-congealed sack of dog-vomit.
"So how...", I hear the cretins ask, "...have they managed to have such an unjust strangle-hold on domestic football?"
Money, you dim b*stards. Unlimited, unrivalled, un-anticipated fecking wealth.
Why? Because some blood-stained oil baron wanted a play-thing to launder all his ill-obtained Roubles. In the time the Russian Mafia have been linked to Sh*tski FC, the equivalent of c.£1.8m has been spent every single fooking DAY. EVERY DAY, YOU RAFA-KNOCKING NINGKOMPOOPS.
How the feck anyone can expect any side in the world to compete with these b*stards is beyond me. But no. Some fans (Not all, I grant you, as most of us aren't unhinged.) on this site have decided it'd be a giggle to have a b*tch at our Raf. The one man on Planet Earth that actually p*ssed all over Sh*tski's CL hopes in May. Unbelievable! Not only that, but the Maudling Maggot-mushed Man-muncher Moris spent virtually twice as much on one player this summer as we spent on 4 frickers. Doesn't that tell you something?
On a further note, none of this b*llocks was in evidence on Wednesday night, when we played a damn site better than Shitski did on Sunday, but had the luck of a silly-a*se who broke 18 mirrors in 2 minutes whilst dodging the black cat that had crossed his god-forsaken path.
Do some of you forget that on Sunday, Didier "no, no, please Gaffer" Drogba should have been sent off for a petulant shove of JC when play had stopped? Or that Joe " I'm a little tea-pot" Cole's tap in was from an offside position?
Ergo, the score would have been 2-1 with dicky Drogba sent off for an early session with Moris.
Had Djimi "what sport am I playing again, Jeremy?" Traore not decided the best course of action would be to imitate Karate Kid III, we'd have been at 1-1. Be fair, we didn't play that badly, it was just individual errors and officials' incompetance that compounded our defeat.
I'm not for one moment implying that the current team is perfect. In a very frank assessment, I believe that the only players who have performed this season are JC, SG, Warnock and Sissoko. As big a fan of Alonso's as I am, he's been below par all season, with the exception of Sh*tski on Wednesday.
In a nutshell, we've outplayed the b*stards 4 times out of 7. That, my friends, is down to Rafa and his system. Rafael Benitez is one step into his rebuilding project. Let's not start laying banana skins in his path.
Rafa Benitez - Master tactician, Shrewd businessman and a fecking Gentleman.
Moris - A Portugese b*stard.
Up the 'Pool.
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