Liverpool FC Forum

by **NiftyNeil** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:27 pm

A mate just emailed me this:

One day, a chap called Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really
>hurts, I think I'll go and see my Doctor!"
>His friend immediately replied
>
>
>"Don't do that, there's a new computer at Boots that can diagnose
anything
>quicker and cheaper than your doctor.
>All you do is put in a sample of your pisss and the computer will
diagnose
>your problem and tell you what to do."
>
>
>Pete, figuring that he had nothing to lose, filled a jar with his
pisss,
>went to Boots where he found the computer and deposited his sample and
the
>computer started making a few noises and some lights started to flash.
>
>
>After a brief pause, out popped a small piece of paper which read:
>
>
>YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW, SOAK YOUR ARM IN WATER THREE TIMES A DAY FOR AN
>HOUR.
>AVOID HEAVY WORK. YOUR ELBOW WILL GET BETTER IN TWO WEEKS.
>
>
>That evening while thinking about how amazing this new technology was
and
>how it could change the world of medicine forever,
>he began to wonder if the computer could be fooled.
>He decided to try.
>
>
>He mixed together some tap water, engine oil from his car, a stool
sample
>from his dog,
>urine samples from his wife and her son, and, at the last minute,
>jerked off into the concoction.
>
>
>He went back to Boots, deposited the sample and paid his money.
>
>
>After the noises and lights, out popped a piece of paper which read:
>
>
>YOUR TAP WATER IS HARD, GET A SOFTNER. THE VALVES ON YOUR ENGINE ARE
>FOOKED,
>GET IT TO A GARAGE.
>YOUR DOG HAS WORMS, GET HIM TO A VET. YOUR SON IS HOOKED ON COCAINE,
GET
>HIM
>TO REHAB.
>YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS, THEY ARE NOT YOURS, GET A LAWYER.
>AND IF YOU DON'T STOP W@NKING, YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER.

by **Afroman** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:30 pm

Heard it before but still class

by **DrTNT** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 10:07 pm

Liverpool FC Forum

Tennis elbow - Stop me if you've heard it.

Who is online