Roman Abramovich.
Fans who sing 'Sign on' to the tune of YNWA, as if they think they're really being witty.
Pointless stats and ancient comparisons.
Peter Kenyon.
Harry Redknapp saying 'For sure' every time he means 'Yes' - as if his native language was Spanish or Italian.
The phrase: 'He might have been disappointed by that!'
Sky Sports News showing a live interview, and then repeating everything that the interviewee has just said.
Coloured boots.
Badge kissers.
Sky using boxing commentators for football matches.
Southern celebrity Manc supporters, such as weather girls, fat morning TV presenters and Angus Deayton.
Mike Riley
Half-time 'entertainment'.
UEFA-directed pre-match faffing about, such as line-ups and German music.
Andy Gray saying 'I have to say'.
Freddie Shepherd and all of the other self-admiring 'we're the best, us geordies, we're smashing!' so-called loyal fans.
'Comedy' mascots.
Trevor Francis redescribing what's just happened and trying to pass it off as 'analysis'.
Seaman's ponytail, closely followed by the ar$eh*le underneath.
Music played whenever the home team scores.
ITV.
Paul Merson unburdening himself of his latest addiction, anxieties and opinions.
Paul Gascoigne doing the same.
Pat Nevin doing anything.
East Anglia in its entirety.
Screaming women at matches, especially those at Highbury.
Anyone who says they aim to get a result - you'll always get a result, numpty, the point is whether it is a good or bad one.
Anyone on Sky who praises Sky, especially Richard Keyes and Rodney Marsh.
Black, grey or green kits.
Pukka-Pies.
Darren Purse.
Stupid coloured footballs.
Defenders who get away with shirt-pulling at corners and shepherding the ball over the line by forming a star shape and just standing there.
Stupid goal celebrations.
Paddy Crerend.
Tim Lovejoy sucking his own saliva after he's particularly pleased with what he's just said (in other words, after everything he's said.)
The city of Manchester.
Everton Football Club.
....................................................................................
That's all folks
"Screaming women at matches, " so we scream and you lot.. jump into each others arms.. shout tha place down, turn red and look like your gonna have heart attacks.. especially if your as obese as half them pie eaten freaks who go to games..hogging 1.5 seats 
Thats grand comin from a bluenose, talkin about your fellow evertonains there Dom 
