Liverpool FC Forum

Greavesie wrote:anything to do with the inbetweeners, cant stand it, its not funny at all

anyway comedians - I dont like Chubby Brown, all my mates used to rave about him, but in fact hes just b0llocks. Alan Carr gets my vote n all

inbetweeners not funny?

sometimes you're such a bumder 

dawson99 wrote:Omid Djalili?
He's Iranian.. saw him do stand up at the Edinburgh fringe a few years ago and he was awesome, he's just not cut out for mainstream.. he's more suited to bbc3 where he could get away with more

red37 wrote:

redhayesy wrote:at least in years gone by you had comedians who told jokes like it was, & lifted people's spirits & fecking made you laugh so the next day was less painfull!

Half the problem now is, everything needs ratifying/analysing....'approving' by the bloody do-gooders - the PC mob who have turned this country into a f*cking nervous wreck when it comes to being allowed to express an opinion which doesn't conform to the oh so exacting standards of our *cough* betters in Brussels/Strasbourg/Geneva et al for example.

You can hardly open yer gob with true conviction these days without some cu*t jumping down your throat with a metaphorical bar of Palmolive.

I know exactly how that feels...

Ciggy wrote:Blasphemy Lando,  I love Graham Norton 
I think he's hillarious really takes the p!ss out of everyone.

Lando_Griffin wrote:

Ciggy wrote:Blasphemy Lando,  I love Graham Norton 
I think he's hillarious really takes the p!ss out of everyone.

No, he's a gimp.

It's like watching the World die in someone's mouth.

(btw Zest is the worst!) 

Lando_Griffin wrote:Graham Norton and Alan Carr.

I cannot express in words just how excruciatingly annoying I find their camp, high-pitched voices. Their over-reliance upon being pansies, and the over-excited flourish of gayness every time something positively underwhelming occurs.

Like a guest walks on set.

Or a f*cking dog has a p*ss.

I have had verrucas which have provided me with more enduring entertainment.

I have had nose bleeds which I regard as 100 times funnier than this pair of tits.

Folks - I have stepped in dog turds which I would rather sit looking at for 30 minutes than watch their damnably awful sh*tbag shows. You can't turn the f*cking box on anymore without looking at their chirpy, perma-tanned smug-b*stard faces. It's getting beyond a bleeding joke.

They have all the talent of a slowly decomposing nog of squirrel shat after eating a particularly rotten nut.

To the producers and mindless buffoons who cast these rejects of society:

Please, please, please, please STOP!

Russel Brand is another. I wonder how many of his conquests now have herpes of the fanny as a result of his "bed-hopping"?

I also wonder how many of these girls actually PREFER the herpes to the talentless skunk-looking Munster's-wannabe c*nt who gave it to them?

When he "burst" onto the scene, I thought he was some sick joke spawned from Big Brother. I thought he was a contestant who, to appease the 0.00003% of society who have no brain, was employed by a sick, sick TV executive to present some late-night, back-alley cat p*ss show which would only ever be watched by the afore-mentioned 0.0003% of the population.

I thought it would be piped into nut-houses and prisons, to entertain the scum he appeals to.

I was wrong.

Dear Lord, I was utterly, completely and catastrophically wrong.

Now, since that fateful day when that Edward Scissorhands-looking b*stard appeared on mainstream television, I have decided to make it my mission in life to destroy the myth of this creature, and hopefully every last spindly hair on his matted, greasy, filthy skull.

It appears that he has an ego many, many times the size of his capabilities, possibly due to the fact that the slappers he nails are impervious to the reality that he has all the charm of a rattlesnake and all the grace of a bout of Ebola.

So. Here is what I propose:
1. A mass educational masterclass for all susceptible women, teaching them to value themselves above money and sleaze. (Some hope nowadays...)

2. After-classes for the real hardened slags, with leg-straps to force them together.

3. A cream which, once applied, causes excruciating pain every time a slime-ball touches the person.

4. Guns. Lots of guns, a tank and a map to Brand's home address, with a sat-nav and four other maps in case anything goes wrong with the other maps...

(And no - he hasn't shagged my bird. I just don't like arrogance, and he is the pure embodiment of self-worship, greed, sleaze and rat-faced insolence.)

Oh, and he is about as funny as gingivitis. 
el

fecking p1ss1ng meself laughing mate, best post iv'e seen in ages! the squirrel shat line was brill mate. you couldn't have put it better. mind out the PC brigade don't condem you though. 

Number 9 wrote:Roy Chubby Brown..I fuc'kin hate the bast@rd with a passion!

Really really really hate the fuc'ker like!