2. Carra's a bit flatulent.
3. The national media is biased against us. Trust us on this. They want Chelsea to buy your best players, Manchester United to win everything and Arsenal to play great stuff.
4. Don't, under any circumstances, buy The Sun. Ask someone at the club, they'll enlighten you.
5. Henchoz isn't anywhere near as tired as he looks.
6. Don't go to the Barracuda on a Friday or Saturday night. It's last. Don't let a returning Pegguy Arphexad convince you that this is a good idea.
7. The tapas bar down by Queen's Square isn't up to much either. The boquerones en vinagre are just not like madre used to make. Unlucky.
8. Though the newly opened Fly and The Loaf on Hardman Street is brilliant. We couldn't recommend it highly enough. We'll meet you in there for a cool Mahou at some point. Salud!
9. Daytime Radio 1 is last. We don't know if you like your pop music, but steer clear if you do. That said, it may be last, but it's still a long way better than City FM.
10. On the subject, the Radio City 'Interactive' Phone-In is to be ignored. Come to think about it, just get a CD player in your car.
11. Watch out for St. John calling you "The Spaniard". It's all downhill from there.
12. School George Sephton in the exact pronunciation of your name. This may be more time consuming than you might expect.
13. Though when he asks, do help to save the Picket.
14. Sofas and lampshades are freely available. Just ask Rick.
15. As funny as Dioufy is, he's nowhere near as good as we all thought he was in the World Cup. Even you.
16. If Didi Hamann offers you a nap, it's not a siesta.
17. Similarly, if he offers you a Wobbly Bob. It's not a drunken Roberto Carlos.
18. Don't worry about John Riise's elbow. He's alright once he runs it off.
19. Big Chris, though, is a bit tender. Look after him. You could start by telling Joe Corrigan to get him off that Atkins' Diet he's so fond of.
20. Thais and building magnates… Don't ask.
21. Guillem Balague is good red and a cool lad. Give him all your Spanish interviews.
22. Feel free to raid Valencia for their best players. Though we would like to keep LFC a mullet-free zone.
23. Carra is a genius. Never drop him and make him vice-captain.
Good post, cheesecrackernuts!!!
now i deserve to be an elite member, does me?






