by Red Macgregor » Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:14 pm
Once upon a time when the good ship LFC Titanic left Southampton with an empty cargo hold, near the end of its voyage for the season it was obvious that it was only going to finish fourth in it's race accross the sea, when it struck an Iceberg.
Houllier the Captain, along with the other crew from the bridge, were thrown overboard by the ship owner and its designer, when the ship crashed into the Iceberg.
A new Captain was enlisted from a passing Spanish Galleon, who brought along some of his crew. But before thay could take any effective action to steer the craft away from the Iceberg and repair the damage the navigator by the name of Owen who could strike the stars, jumped into the first lifeboat and left the unsteady ship.
The Chief Engineer had already said he was off, but changed his mind because he felt sorry for his mates in the fan's band and wanted to sail them to victory in the next race.
However, the next race season came and went, and with a replacement navigator called Baros, who could not find the stars and had no idea how to navigate out of trouble. The crew were severly exposed and were found to be entirely incompetent.
Meanwhile the boys in the fan's band played on, singing some wonderful songs and made some splendid banners, for an event with a passing ship with a Portuguese Captain fom the Thames, They even carried a portrait of the new Spanish skipper around the deck on a sunny afternoon until the rain came down.
The fan's in the band became restless the next weekend when a cold wind blew in from the direction of Newcastle and started to gather on the rear deck, where there seemed to be less water underfoot.
Meanwhile, Gerrard the Chief Engineer was heard to be uttering about taking the final lifeboat out for a test run, just to see if it floats and if it may be suitable to row to a passing ship with more chance of completing next years race.
While all this was going on, the owner and the designer were last seen squabling with a Liverpool Builder about the scrap value of the stricken ship and whether it could make it back to port to be re-built as LFC Anfield or indeed wether it might be worth more if were re-named.
Back in Liverpool, while all this fuss was going on, a new ship painted entirely in blue was being prepared for next seasons race, not very fasionable and powered by oars, but at looking as though it might be on the starting line before the famous LFC Titanic returned to port.
Meanwhile, the fan's in the LFC Titanic band were now getting a good view from the rear deck as the bow appeared to be slipping under water, but they still blew on their trumpets and sang, we will win the race to Europe this year.
But the Owner Moores and the Chief Designer Parry had by now thrown all the charts overboard and decided that the ship had a fatal design fault, which even the new Spanish Captain could not overcome in time to join next years race !
Is there a lifeboat out there loaded with finance ?