Funny footbal quotes

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Postby stmichael » Thu Jan 27, 2005 9:49 pm

Just a selection of funny football quotes to lighten the mood.

....................................................................................
“You have to remember that Augustin (Delgado) was virtually up against their youth team. I have never seen so much acne on a football pitch.” Gordon Strachan

“I would have him (Smith) there for England ahead of Emile Heskey because, with respect, I could score more goals than him at age 56!” 1970s England striker Allan Clarke

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'
Ameobi: 'No, not really'
Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'
Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'

Sheffield United boss Neil Warnock, when asked what he would do if he was manager of city rivals Sheffield Wednesday.
'I would buy some bad players, get the sack and then retire to Cornwall'

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game aslong as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka (Leeds)

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.' - Neville Southall (ex-Everton)

'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo (Brazil)

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.' - Paul Gascoigne (Everton)

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - Alan Shearer (Newcastle)

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.' - Peter Shilton (ex-England)

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.'
- Stan Collymore

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.' - Ade Akinbiyi (Leicester)

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' - Ian Wright (ex-Arsenal)

'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - Paul Gascoigne (Everton)

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
- Ugo Ehiogu ('Boro)

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.' - Ian Wright
(ex-Arsenal)

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.' - Jonathan Woodgate (Leeds)

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' - Stuart Pearce (West Ham)

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.' - Lee Hendrie (Villa)

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
- Ian Rush (ex-Liverpool)

Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre on the right and occasionally on the left side.' (Man U)

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.' - Robbie Earle (ex-Wimbledon)

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - Barry Venison (ex-Liverpool)

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' - David Beckham (Man U)

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European.' - Phil Neville (Man U)

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' -
Mitchell Thomas (ex-Spurs)

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - David Beckham (Man U)

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
- Graeme Le Saux (Chelsea)

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.' - Alan Shearer (Newcastle)

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' -
Johnny Giles

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
- Thierry Henry (Arsenal)

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.' -
David Beckham (Man U)

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.' -
Les Ferdinand (Spurs)

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.' - Richard Rufus

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - Gary Lineker (ex-Spurs)

"My father was a footballer - he only ate peas because they were round."
Fabricio Coloccini.

"I'll be happy with a draw but if Germany surprise me I'll be happy" Franz Beckenbaur before Germany's shock 5-1 defeat to England that would have pleased him.

"Who is he?" Stefan Effenberg about Steven Gerrard before Gerrard scored the winner against Germany in their 5-1 win.

"Taking a point off a team who are in the UEFA Cup is no mean feat" Chas Arthurs, a Charlton 'fan' in Sport First after their 1-1 draw with.... Derby.

:D  :D  :D  :D  :D
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Postby Ciggy » Thu Jan 27, 2005 9:54 pm

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.'
- Stan Collymore :D
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011

REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby Woollyback » Thu Jan 27, 2005 9:55 pm

Not footy but along a similar line, Samantha Fox once said "I own 8 pairs of trainers, one for each day of the week"

Silly bint :laugh:  :laugh:
b*ll*c*ks and s*i*e
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Postby stmichael » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:05 pm

i always remember this classic houllier quote

“People need different types of management and Emile (Heskey) needs cuddling. He needs to know he is liked around the place - and he is loved here.”

Houllier set for wife swap.  :D
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Postby The Canadian Red Army » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:06 pm

Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre on the right and occasionally on the left side.' (Man U)

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European.' - Phil Neville (Man U)

:D  :D
RIP - Drummerphil - YNWA
" Whats a holly kipper CRA? Is that a scene from batman and Robin :D" - CGGY
This is soo true - Daniel - sweetest guy in the world,soft and gentle but good in bed! hes a keeper!!!!!!
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Postby stmichael » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:09 pm

stmichael wrote:Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'
Ameobi: 'No, not really'
Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'
Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'

that just cracks me up. no wonder everyone loves bobby. he's like the grandad i never had :laugh:  :D  :laugh:
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Postby The Canadian Red Army » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:15 pm

beckham is a true blond :D  :p
RIP - Drummerphil - YNWA
" Whats a holly kipper CRA? Is that a scene from batman and Robin :D" - CGGY
This is soo true - Daniel - sweetest guy in the world,soft and gentle but good in bed! hes a keeper!!!!!!
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Postby Ciggy » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:16 pm

The Canadian Red Army wrote:beckham is a true blond :D  :p

:glare:
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011

REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby The Canadian Red Army » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:16 pm

cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:
The Canadian Red Army wrote:beckham is a true blond :D  :p

:glare:

whats that for
are you a blond cisse?
RIP - Drummerphil - YNWA
" Whats a holly kipper CRA? Is that a scene from batman and Robin :D" - CGGY
This is soo true - Daniel - sweetest guy in the world,soft and gentle but good in bed! hes a keeper!!!!!!
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The Canadian Red Army
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Postby Ciggy » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:19 pm

The Canadian Red Army wrote:
cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:
The Canadian Red Army wrote:beckham is a true blond :D  :p

:glare:

whats that for
are you a blond cisse?

erm I think so................................. ???  :D
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011

REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Ciggy
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Posts: 26826
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Postby The Canadian Red Army » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:21 pm

cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:
The Canadian Red Army wrote:
cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:
The Canadian Red Army wrote:beckham is a true blond :D  :p

:glare:

whats that for
are you a blond cisse?

erm I think so................................. ???  :D

well your not a blond in the head like becks

your hair is just blond
RIP - Drummerphil - YNWA
" Whats a holly kipper CRA? Is that a scene from batman and Robin :D" - CGGY
This is soo true - Daniel - sweetest guy in the world,soft and gentle but good in bed! hes a keeper!!!!!!
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The Canadian Red Army
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