Liverpool FC Forum

[account deleted by request]

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of
eet."

"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune,
and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture .. there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig
meat.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!"

"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert
don't forget."

"Pepe when deed you ev er hear of a meerage that smeell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that ...Luis races toward the tree.
He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind,
when all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his
tracks.

It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is,
he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man,you was right...ees not a bacon tree."

"Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it?

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...

Ees..........

Ees...


Ees...


Eees a Ham Bush!!



Sorry about this one but it made me laugh

[account deleted by request]

Asked how the smoking ban would affect him, Michael Barrymore said "It's not a problem. I'll just smoke outside then put my fags out in the pool"

[dawson99]

oh dear

[account deleted by request]

oh dear

sorry Dawson 

[shanks72]

My bro just said did I realise what Gordon Brown's initials stood for.....

[dawson99]

oh dear

sorry Dawson 

lol, no i meant the joke on the previous page

ive been wasting my jokes ont he jokes thread and i swear no one saw it or else theyd pi$$ themselves laughing.. and shanks, gordon brown... oh dear 

[shanks72]

. and shanks, gordon brown... oh dear 

Ok...so it's obviously an old 'joke'....I never realised....

but then I am usually way behind everyone else, lol... 

[red37]

I thought it was an old Stranglers hit   

[dawson99]

I thought it was an old Stranglers hit   

[red37]

I thought it was an old Stranglers hit   

"Gordon Brown....a face like me bum
Wonky gob and an head like a binman

He moved in next door...His missus wiped the floor
He pulled down his kecks and sh@t on us all"

[dawson99]

dum dum dee dum dum dee dum dum dee dum dum dum dum


i like it, catchy

[red37]

dum dum dee dum dum dee dum dum dee dum dum dum dum


i like it, catchy

tell you what, throw in a couple of "doo dee doo's" and we're onto a winner i reckon.

[dawson99]

dum dum dee dum dum dee dum dum dee dum dum dum dum


i like it, catchy

tell you what, throw in a couple of "doo dee doo's" and we're onto a winner i reckon.

doo dee doos, what are you, some kind of pervert   

[red37]

Drat!  its out!   

[dawson99]

well put it back in and zip up