Liverpool FC Forum

[116-1065305004]

Hi its Beavis again!
I have submitted a section where if anyone have any funny stories put them on here!

Thanks!

[116-1065305004]

Heres one to get the ball rolling!
When I was in Year 10(age 14) me and a couple of the lads got hold of the telephone number of a guy people call Mad Johnny(a schizo who is a mad Everton fan) and we decided to keep on phoning him shouting,'LIVERPOOL,LIVERPOOL','THERES ONLY ONE YORK CITY(referring to Evertons 3-2 defeat there),'PORT VALE,PORT VALE' and Johnny was losing his rag with this he said,'someones gonna die' and 'I'll kill you ba#ta#ds!' then one day one of the lads forgot to withhold his number and Johnny rang it saying,'Well done you've won a free case of Stella wots ur address?' as if we were going to fall for that!  So we gave the lads address over the road from my mates(he had nothing to do with it) and they are a gay family who everything bad happens to! Anyway Mad Johnny comes round on the bounce tries to kick in their door and when the gay lad answers he grabs him by the throat while the mum and the sisters are crying, the dad comes to the door wondering what the noise is about and he sees 6'4 Johnny(the lads dad is only 5'1 and gay) and his dad says,'oh my god' next thing you see is Johnny diving on the dad and the door getting closed locking the mum & the sisters out, they are crying next thing the neighbours are out, you could hear his dad begging Johnny not to touch him and about 10 minutes later you could hear screams of,'NO PLEASE NOT THAT,ANYTHING BUT THAT' then 'ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!'
30 minutes later you seen ambulance crews, Johnny had shoved the portable phone up his dads a#se! and my mate started ringing it when his dad was getting in the ambulance, he looked like he'd been hypnotised! Anyway it was okay they managed to remove the phone at the hospital, no operation required!

[116-1065305004]

Okay heres one!
One lad who I was in Year 6 primary school with...well one day our teacher Mrs.Morgan(a strict stearn old teacher) was making us do our timetables on the carpet and this lad Tony was begging her could he use the toilet and she was saying,'No Toilet break 10.30' anyway he kept on asking for 10 minutes then we all heard a wet farting crapping noise and a rich smell of turd and everyone were saying,'You've s##t yourself you dirty ba#ta#d' and some of the girls were holding their noses, then Morgan asked him to stand up and he had grey pants on and the s##t went straight through and they were lumps everywhere, Terry(one of the ***** of our class) said,'Get your a#se out of my face you dirty mef' and Tony was crying everyone were saying,'EEEEE' and all of next doors class had their head through our door watching, all that Morgan did was give him a few tissues and locked him in the boys toilets for a hour with no apology! Morgan then told us all to sit down and sprayed the room with dettox!
It still stunk all day!
Tony is now working in McDonalds were he gets s##t all day!

[supersub]

It's not the people who work at McDonalds who get the s**t,it's the sad gets that eat the burgers.

[116-1065305004]

It's not the people who work at McDonalds who get the s**t,it's the sad gets that eat the burgers.

Isnt it lucky I dont eat there, Ive got mates who work there, do you remember the case with that woman in Liverpool who got gonorrhoea when them lads who worked there wacked off in her burger?

[cheesecakery]

i thought this section was called 'Funny stories' ?

[116-1065305004]

i thought this section was called 'Funny stories' ? :D

It is Buttmunch so why are you on it then?

[cheesecakery]

so wheres the funny stories??

[Cool Hand Luke]

Yeah were are the funny stories?

[116-1065305004]

Yeah were are the funny stories?

Hmm okay then HASH or TASH or whatever your name is?
Do you think someone getting a phone shoved up their ***** is funny?
Tell you what if you can do better with a true story please submit it here.........

[116-1065305004]

so wheres the funny stories??

Well it was funny until your ugly mug appeared on my thread!

[Cool Hand Luke]

Heres one to get the ball rolling!
When I was in Year 10(age 14) me and a couple of the lads got hold of the telephone number of a guy people call Mad Johnny(a schizo who is a mad Everton fan) and we decided to keep on phoning him shouting,'LIVERPOOL,LIVERPOOL','THERES ONLY ONE YORK CITY(referring to Evertons 3-2 defeat there),'PORT VALE,PORT VALE' and Johnny was losing his rag with this he said,'someones gonna die' and 'I'll kill you ba#ta#ds!' then one day one of the lads forgot to withhold his number and Johnny rang it saying,'Well done you've won a free case of Stella wots ur address?' as if we were going to fall for that!  So we gave the lads address over the road from my mates(he had nothing to do with it) and they are a gay family who everything bad happens to! Anyway Mad Johnny comes round on the bounce tries to kick in their door and when the gay lad answers he grabs him by the throat while the mum and the sisters are crying, the dad comes to the door wondering what the noise is about and he sees 6'4 Johnny(the lads dad is only 5'1 and gay) and his dad says,'oh my god' next thing you see is Johnny diving on the dad and the door getting closed locking the mum & the sisters out, they are crying next thing the neighbours are out, you could hear his dad begging Johnny not to touch him and about 10 minutes later you could hear screams of,'NO PLEASE NOT THAT,ANYTHING BUT THAT' then 'ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!'
30 minutes later you seen ambulance crews, Johnny had shoved the portable phone up his dads a#se! and my mate started ringing it when his dad was getting in the ambulance, he looked like he'd been hypnotised! Anyway it was okay they managed to remove the phone at the hospital, no operation required!

You know thats boll##ks Beavers

[Cool Hand Luke]

Okay heres one!
One lad who I was in Year 6 primary school with...well one day our teacher Mrs.Morgan(a strict stearn old teacher) was making us do our timetables on the carpet and this lad Tony was begging her could he use the toilet and she was saying,'No Toilet break 10.30' anyway he kept on asking for 10 minutes then we all heard a wet farting crapping noise and a rich smell of turd and everyone were saying,'You've s##t yourself you dirty ba#ta#d' and some of the girls were holding their noses, then Morgan asked him to stand up and he had grey pants on and the s##t went straight through and they were lumps everywhere, Terry(one of the ***** of our class) said,'Get your a#se out of my face you dirty mef' and Tony was crying everyone were saying,'EEEEE' and all of next doors class had their head through our door watching, all that Morgan did was give him a few tissues and locked him in the boys toilets for a hour with no apology! Morgan then told us all to sit down and sprayed the room with dettox!
It still stunk all day!
Tony is now working in McDonalds were he gets s##t all day!

Thats boll##ks too.

[Cool Hand Luke]

Were are the funny stories? I can't find them.

[116-1065305004]

Heres one to get the ball rolling!
When I was in Year 10(age 14) me and a couple of the lads got hold of the telephone number of a guy people call Mad Johnny(a schizo who is a mad Everton fan) and we decided to keep on phoning him shouting,'LIVERPOOL,LIVERPOOL','THERES ONLY ONE YORK CITY(referring to Evertons 3-2 defeat there),'PORT VALE,PORT VALE' and Johnny was losing his rag with this he said,'someones gonna die' and 'I'll kill you ba#ta#ds!' then one day one of the lads forgot to withhold his number and Johnny rang it saying,'Well done you've won a free case of Stella wots ur address?' as if we were going to fall for that!  So we gave the lads address over the road from my mates(he had nothing to do with it) and they are a gay family who everything bad happens to! Anyway Mad Johnny comes round on the bounce tries to kick in their door and when the gay lad answers he grabs him by the throat while the mum and the sisters are crying, the dad comes to the door wondering what the noise is about and he sees 6'4 Johnny(the lads dad is only 5'1 and gay) and his dad says,'oh my god' next thing you see is Johnny diving on the dad and the door getting closed locking the mum & the sisters out, they are crying next thing the neighbours are out, you could hear his dad begging Johnny not to touch him and about 10 minutes later you could hear screams of,'NO PLEASE NOT THAT,ANYTHING BUT THAT' then 'ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!'
30 minutes later you seen ambulance crews, Johnny had shoved the portable phone up his dads a#se! and my mate started ringing it when his dad was getting in the ambulance, he looked like he'd been hypnotised! Anyway it was okay they managed to remove the phone at the hospital, no operation required!

You know thats bullocks Beavers

How is it?
And I think you mean boll##ks if you are trying to outsmart me at least sort your spelling out!
Dont try and compete with me Hash you are out of your depth, your votes are boll##ks you are boll##ks and your not as smart and funny as me!