Liverpool FC Forum

by **Reg** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:44 pm

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Liverpool

by **mistyred** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:50 pm

That is weird, how the hell did you find such cr@p Reg

by **aCe'** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:09 pm

some funny sht there and some of the sht not so funny... we would have been laughing our a$ses off if it was about Manu...

Pepper Reindeer Spanish goalkeeper, notable for his trademark Pepe-fumble, which he performs for the supporters while the other team takes their corner kicks. Is also a baldy.

Alvaro I'll-Blow-Ya Notable for being equally :censored:

no matter what position he plays in, meaning he can easily plug a gap in the team should the manager be missing a regular :censored:

player due to injury or suspension. See also: John O'Shea.

Jamie Carragher An immensely talented and inventive player, has scored an amazing 3 goals in just 13 years, along with over 15,000 own goals. Retired from international duty after realising that there were 75 better candidates for his position, including Steve Bruce and Willy Wonka.

Drea de Dossena Signed after impressing Benitez with her performance as 'Adriana' in hit TV show The Sopranos. Never plays, and never should either.

Javier Masochisterano The world's most expensive water-carrier, a sort of rich man's Ji-Sung Park. His £20 million price tag is believed to be the basis for upcoming reboot of Ripley's Believe It or Not. Known for strong defensive tactics such as beheading the opposition and drinking their innards, before regurgitating body parts into the mouth of his offspring, Lucas.

Alberto Riera Is Spanish, and wasn't quite good enough to play for Manchester City a couple of years back, so naturally he fits perfectly into Benitez's transfer plans. An £8 million bribe and this talentless :censored:

was on Merseyside faster than you could say 'Bias'.

Dirk Shiite Liverpool's third most beloved Dutchman, -----. Man United bought Van Nistelrooy; Liverpool bought this shiit heap. How do you like them apples? Once blasted the ball over the bar from 3 yards, then broke his own record and did it from 2 yards just ten minutes later.

Robbie Keane Back he went in the 50%-off January sales.

by **metalhead** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:03 pm

check out chelsea!!!

11. Didhedive Dogshit

An Ivorian striker with really :censored:

hair, Dogshit is one of two openly gay players in the premiership. Dogshit adapted to English football at a similar rate to Shitstinko. Over 6ft tall and built like an ox, Didhedive goes down quicker than Wayne Rooney in an old people's home.

8. Fat Frank Lumpalard

Fat Frank is most famous for winning Major League Eating's World Series a record six consective times. Having reached the pinnacle of professional eating, Frank embarked on his footballing career, and today is most famous for shooting on average over 200 times per match. Some have compared his shooting tactic to that of the US Army - eventually one of them has to hit a large Arab nation. Fat Frank currently holds the Chel$ki recored for most number of deflections leading to a goal, with 36 (34 of those being off his own :censored:

).

by **aCe'** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:09 pm

by **bunglemark2** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:10 pm

A truly odd site...

by **metalhead** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:13 pm

bunglemark2 wrote:A truly odd site...

Its a site that just takes the p!ss on everything, with racist and unethical sentences

and some funny :censored:

on chelsea and mancs :laugh:

by **Reg** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:51 pm

mistyred wrote:That is weird, how the hell did you find such cr@p Reg

aCe sends them to me.

by **Bad Bob** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:51 pm

aCe' wrote:some funny sht there and some of the sht not so funny... we would have been laughing our a$ses off if it was about Manu...

So, instead of posting up the Man U one, you post up the one taking the p!ss out of our lads? Curious.

(In case people find this kind of stuff funny...The Manc One )

by **andy_g** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:11 pm

this one actually made me laugh out loud

" 9. Dimitar Barby(off)

The first and only manchester united player to be cloned. In early 2009, the recipe for creating a "Dimitar Barby(off)" was leaked. It goes as follows :

1. Get a heavy stone
2. Put a hairband on the stone
3. Place the stone in an offside position "

by **dawson99** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:12 pm

13. Park Ji Sung

Is really just the guy Rooney gets his takeaway from, Ferguson just plays him so Rooney can keep up to date on the menu. He plays in the #13. Which is to remind Rooney of what his order is, "Everything on the menu except salad"

slightly racist maybe, but VERY funny, and also possibly true

by **Greavesie** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:14 pm

dawson99 wrote:13. Park Ji Sung

Is really just the guy Rooney gets his takeaway from, Ferguson just plays him so Rooney can keep up to date on the menu. He plays in the #13. Which is to remind Rooney of what his order is, "Everything on the menu except salad"

slightly racist maybe, but VERY funny, and also possibly true

I remember last season listening to some commentary of a Man U game and the commentator said: 'here's Ji-Sung Park number 13 - that would be the chicken chow mein'

I was p!ssing mesel :laugh:

by **aCe'** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:30 pm

Bad Bob wrote:
aCe' wrote:some funny sht there and some of the sht not so funny... we would have been laughing our a$ses off if it was about Manu...

So, instead of posting up the Man U one, you post up the one taking the p!ss out of our lads? Curious.

(In case people find this kind of stuff funny...The Manc One )

didnt even know there was a manutd one you little Canaaadian tit...
hence the "we would have been laughing our a$ses off if it was about Manu"

pmsl at the Arby and Keane ones though..

by **metalhead** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:38 pm

Wenger's recruitment policy has had its critics, but the results speak for themselves; absolutely nothing won in the last four years

Wengers Policies
That old man with a permanent frown, otherwise known as Arsène Wenger, is known to have some strange methods of handling transfers and tactics. However, we have recently cracked the code on how Wenger decides on buying players for Arsenal. The players must follow most, if not all of these following criteria

1. He must be French

2. He must be shorter than Wenger

3. He must NOT be a striker

4. He must weigh equivalent or less than Wengers weight divided by pi

5. He must NOT be older than Wengers age divided by pi

6. He must NOT be remotely close to the skill level of Thierry Henry

7. He must NOT be from Britain, Guatemala, Canada or Uzbekistan, unforunately, this means Mrs. M Minhall cannot ever sign for Arsenal, also she is too old.

8. He must NOT be from any Premiership club

9. He must be faster than Wengers speed multiplied by the square of pi

10. He must have a funny name that can be manipulated into a verbal pun

11. He must be able to take candy from a Baby without a second thought.

12. He must be unable to shoot at goal

13. He must not be older than Robin Van Skillz.

14. He must get the Wenger seal of approval. This is when he has to be better than Francis Jeffers

15. He must have a bizarre name.

16. He must have a fake passport.

17. He must be under the age of 10.

18. He must NOT be able to score

19. He must score more goals than the age of the earth divided by pi squared.

20. He must be able to gloat and perform celebrations which look ridiculous, even if the goal is, as usual, a tap-in.

21. He must have a wide knowledge of cheating, and be able to whinge should any decision not go their way.

After winning the Emirates Cup, it is fair to say that these policies really do work. Arsend really is a genius.

------------

:laugh:

by **Bad Bob** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:31 pm

aCe' wrote:didnt even know there was a manutd one you little Canaaadian tit...

Now, now...no need to take the p!ss out of my homeland. There's a perfectly good Uncyclopedia Entry for that!

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