Liverpool FC Forum

Igor Zidane wrote:I'm thinking of publishing my book of scouse poetry , i'd like some constructive critisim please .

HAHUM (clears throte)

Mary Maguire ,
She pee'd in the fire ,
the fire was to hot ,
so she pee'd in the pot ,
the pot was to round ,
so she pee'd on the ground,
the ground was to flat ,
so she pee'd on the cat,
and the cat ran away with the pee on it's back .



My wee doggies dead,
he died for the want of bread,
get abit of coal ,
and stick it up his hole,
my wee doggies dead.

and lastly a personal favourite .


The boy stood on the burning deck ,
picking his nose like mad,
he rolled it into little balls ,
and flicked em at his dad.


I thankyou!!!!!!!

   

I especially enjoyed the motif of maturing to manhood in your last poem.  If I read you correctly, and I think I do, the fire represents the passage from youth to adulthood and the imagery of the child flicking snot balls at his father captures the existential angst all young men feel as the grow older and take on more and more characteristics of the very fathers they have spent their lives rebelling against.  Huzzah to you sir, your composition was a masterpiece on at least 15 separate levels.

maypaxvobiscum wrote:what in blue hell do u know about me woof? you know nothing at all. you dont even know my real name. so dont try to act like you're my father or something.

and virtual relationships? wtf?

What in blue hell do I know about you ?

Well based on what you've said on this forum all I know about you Rajiv is that you were seriously suicidal  a year or so ago (your girlfriend dumped you- boo f'ucking hoo) , you then considered emigrating to Malaysia or Thailand or anyplace that would take you to escape the pain but you didn't have the money the nuts or a real plan (no wonder you got dumped) and so did nothing at all except increase the amount of time you spent at home logging in to internet chat rooms .

You're extremely defensive, don't like being challenged, take the slightest of jibes very personally and like many juveniles have a distinct inability to laugh at yourself .

How am I doing so far ?

As for "trying to act like your father"     f'uck off pimple dick , if was attempting to act like a father they'd still be operating on you right now to remove my boot from your sorry a'rse.

s@int wrote:She stood on the bridge at midnight,
selling matches by the box
she was once the very fairest
but now she's got the pox

She stood on the bridge at midnight,
Throwing snowballs at the moon.
She said Jack I've never had it ,
But she spoke to f**ing soon,

She stood on the bridge at midnight,
picking blackheads from her crotch,
She said jack, " I've never had it,
He said, "no! not fking much.

terrible that Lord Byron

woof woof ! wrote:Well based on what you've said on this forum all I know about you Rajiv is that you were seriously suicidal  a year or so ago (your girlfriend dumped you- boo f'ucking hoo) , you then considered emigrating to Malaysia or Thailand or anyplace that would take you to escape the pain but you didn't have the money the nuts or a real plan (no wonder you got dumped) and so did nothing at all except increase the amount of time you spent at home logging in to internet chat rooms .

Thats out of order, you seriously need to grow up and rise above it !

woof woof ! wrote:

maypaxvobiscum wrote:what in blue hell do u know about me woof? you know nothing at all. you dont even know my real name. so dont try to act like you're my father or something.

and virtual relationships? wtf?

What in blue hell do I know about you ?

Well based on what you've said on this forum all I know about you Rajiv is that you were seriously suicidal  a year or so ago (your girlfriend dumped you- boo f'ucking hoo) , you then considered emigrating to Malaysia or Thailand or anyplace that would take you to escape the pain but you didn't have the money the nuts or a real plan (no wonder you got dumped) and so did nothing at all except increase the amount of time you spent at home logging in to internet chat rooms .

You're extremely defensive, don't like being challenged, take the slightest of jibes very personally and like many juveniles have a distinct inability to laugh at yourself .

How am I doing so far ?

As for "trying to act like your father"     f'uck off pimple dick , if was attempting to act like a father they'd still be operating on you right now to remove my boot from your sorry a'rse.

s@int wrote:Why don't you two just fkn ignore each other. Its obvious you are chalk and cheese, just agree to disagree AND JUST IGNORE EACH OTHER.

metalhead wrote:

s@int wrote:Why don't you two just fkn ignore each other. Its obvious you are chalk and cheese, just agree to disagree AND JUST IGNORE EACH OTHER.

You've never tried chalk and cheese together before?

One can give you heartburn the other cures it ! Incidentally have you ever tried drawing Buster Gonads on a blackboard with a rennie? I got as far as the wheel on a wheel barrow 

metalhead wrote:

woof woof ! wrote:

maypaxvobiscum wrote:what in blue hell do u know about me woof? you know nothing at all. you dont even know my real name. so dont try to act like you're my father or something.

and virtual relationships? wtf?

What in blue hell do I know about you ?

Well based on what you've said on this forum all I know about you Rajiv is that you were seriously suicidal  a year or so ago (your girlfriend dumped you- boo f'ucking hoo) , you then considered emigrating to Malaysia or Thailand or anyplace that would take you to escape the pain but you didn't have the money the nuts or a real plan (no wonder you got dumped) and so did nothing at all except increase the amount of time you spent at home logging in to internet chat rooms .

You're extremely defensive, don't like being challenged, take the slightest of jibes very personally and like many juveniles have a distinct inability to laugh at yourself .

How am I doing so far ?

As for "trying to act like your father"     f'uck off pimple dick , if was attempting to act like a father they'd still be operating on you right now to remove my boot from your sorry a'rse.

I don't think its a good idea posting his past personal problems in public woof and criticising it for that matter, leave it in a PM or something.

Hardly fuc'king personal when maxi posted the whole pay per view episode on here gratis is it??
Tell ya what,everyone,how about everyone stops acting like a bunch of easily offended hypersensitive drama queens with no other purpose in life apart from coming on Newkit and demanding attention!

This place is a shadow of its former self and its down to the likes of the wannabe author who dramatises every thread he is in and turns it round to a personal lets all w@nk about me scenario!

RIGHT OK MAYPAX...We all see you and know you are here!!OK??  Fuc,king sick of coming on here and looking a bit of chat about the club and have a laugh only for every thread being a"What can i do to get attention today thread"
Write your book,meet your drunks,do whatever you have to do...but please know the line,no one one here really wishes to know you're inner soul!
Calm it down a bit please...cause I dont know about anyone else,but you are starting to sicken the shi'te outta me!

Kharhaz wrote:

metalhead wrote:

s@int wrote:Why don't you two just fkn ignore each other. Its obvious you are chalk and cheese, just agree to disagree AND JUST IGNORE EACH OTHER.

You've never tried chalk and cheese together before?

One can give you heartburn the other cures it ! Incidentally have you ever tried drawing Buster Gonads on a blackboard with a rennie? I got as far as the wheel on a wheel barrow 

must have felt really awkward and uncomfortable like!