Liverpool FC Forum

by **scouser 'til I die** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 4:33 pm

A man is speeding down a narrow mountain road, when a woman comes hurtling round the corner. He swerves to avoid her, but as she passes she leans out the window and screams 'PIG!'
Astonished, the man turns and yells back, 'BITCH!' as he reaches the bend and crashes into a pig.

by **dawson99** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:25 pm

Smoking warnings for US movies

The ratings board will consider the frequency and context of smoking
The US film ratings board has announced it will now take smoking into account along with sex, violence and adult language when classifying movies.
The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) already takes underage smoking into account but will now also consider adult smoking.

Descriptions such as "glamorised smoking" could now accompany ratings.

But anti-smoking campaign group Breathe California said the MPAA plans did not go far enough.

Some critics of smoking in films have said all films showing tobacco use should be given an R rating - meaning only over-17s could see the film unless accompanied by a guardian.

thats the best joke ive read all year. fricking nany state gone mad!!!!!

by **account deleted by request** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:38 pm

A guy's walking down the street and sees Little Johnny smoking a cigarette.

He says, 'Kid, you're too young to smoke. How old are you?'

Johnny says, 'Six.'

The guy says, 'Six? When did you start smoking?'

Johnny says, 'Right after the first time I got laid.'

The guy says, 'Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?'

Johnny says, 'I don't remember. I was too fkn drunk.'

I was so upset at what I read on the harmful effects of smoking, I have given up reading.

by **dawson99** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:40 pm

by **Scottbot** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:14 pm

Just got the Twangs album, anyone else like em. it's an absolute gem. If you liked to Roses your'll love it. Like a cross between the Roses, the Streets and U2. Quality :buttrock

by **dawson99** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:19 pm

saw the twang support milburn near camden 4 months ago... they were... different (when is aw them they were a lil bit drunk to say the least!!!)

by **Scottbot** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:27 pm

dawson99 wrote:saw the twang support milburn near camden 4 months ago... they were... different (when is aw them they were a lil bit drunk to say the least!!!)

Try em sober mate. only listened to the album a couple of times but loving it already.

by **account deleted by request** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:59 pm

A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing the man's sorry progress. Figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, he proceeded to enter his side of the confessional. His attention was rewarded only by a lengthy silence. Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?" "I dunno." came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any toilet paper on your side?"

by **dawson99** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:03 am

aww, sh!tting in the confessionals, we've all been there

happy thursday everyone

by **shanks72** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:05 am

(to saint's joke btw)

by **account deleted by request** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:06 am

dawson99 wrote:aww, sh!tting in the confessionals, we've all been there

happy thursday everyone

You have still never told me your Virgin Mary joke.

by **shanks72** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:06 am

dawson99 wrote:Smoking warnings for US movies

The ratings board will consider the frequency and context of smoking
The US film ratings board has announced it will now take smoking into account along with sex, violence and adult language when classifying movies.
The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) already takes underage smoking into account but will now also consider adult smoking.

Descriptions such as "glamorised smoking" could now accompany ratings.

But anti-smoking campaign group Breathe California said the MPAA plans did not go far enough.

Some critics of smoking in films have said all films showing tobacco use should be given an R rating - meaning only over-17s could see the film unless accompanied by a guardian.

thats the best joke ive read all year. fricking nany state gone mad!!!!!

Actually I think this is a very good idea...I hate seeing smoking in films etc.... :kungfu:

by **dawson99** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:08 am

no..i havent

im saving it for...armageddon or something.

im sat here, midnight morning, listening to Nellie McKay and working away, very chilled but hungry. the fun we have!

by **account deleted by request** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:11 am

Problem is now we have fallen out with Shanks over her anti -smoking stance, we will have to look elsewhere for sexual favours

by **dawson99** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:13 am

well dont look at me dude!!!
or at least buy me a drink first!

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