Liverpool FC Forum

[Ciggy]

ello all im back, didnt want to come home     
Had a feckin brilliant time.
So what have I missed ?

[woof woof !]

Hiya Cig , whadya mean you didn't want to come home ?   

So what have I missed ?

Well, the "first fatty" thread for starters ,


Glad you're back with us Cig (even though you don't wanna be here 

[112-1077774096]

you also missed an atempted coup from benny   

[joko]

good day everybody

i was sent this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO32EOOoBe8
by an indonesia fella, it's cool!

[account deleted by request]

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house.

He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!"

He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything.

So he starts creeping across the lawn again.

"Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again.

So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house.

He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?"

The parrot says "Clarence."

The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says,

"The same idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

[metalhead]

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house.

He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!"

He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything.

So he starts creeping across the lawn again.

"Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again.

So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house.

He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?"

The parrot says "Clarence."

The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says,

"The same idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

 

[woof woof !]

Mark was on his way home from the pub and although it was a bit spooky he decided to take a shortcut through the local cemetery. Halfway across he suddenly heard "Mark, Mark, Mark !" , "Christ" he thought  "a ghost is after me" Almost sh'tting himself he legged it for the nearest exit but the voice got louder and louder, MARK MARK MARK !, he reached the gate but it was locked , the voice was now right behind him  MARK MARK MARK ! ! shaking with fear he turned and there before him was a dog.

with a cleft palate .

[shanks72]

good day everybody

i was sent this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO32EOOoBe8
by an indonesia fella, it's cool!

[shanks72]

Mark was on his way home from the pub and although it was a bit spooky he decided to take a shortcut through the local cemetery. Halfway across he suddenly heard "Mark, Mark, Mark !" , "Christ" he thought  "a ghost is after me" Almost sh'tting himself he legged it for the nearest exit but the voice got louder and louder, MARK MARK MARK !, he reached the gate but it was locked , the voice was now right behind him  MARK MARK MARK ! ! shaking with fear he turned and there before him was a dog.

with a cleft palate .

 

[shanks72]

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house.

He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!"

He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything.

So he starts creeping across the lawn again.

"Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again.

So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house.

He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?"

The parrot says "Clarence."

The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says,

"The same idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

Saint...you're slipping, lol, I'd already heard this... 

my bro told it to me....surprisingly enough.... 

(good joke, though)

[jkop]

Vodka and redbull......lovely..........and it all helps to make me laugh at your jokes S@int.

[66-1112520797]

Bored............ S@int, tell us a joke or sumfing.

[account deleted by request]

Vodka and redbull......lovely..........and it all helps to make me laugh at your jokes S@int.

My jokes need all the help they can get   

[account deleted by request]

Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex all the time, and just as much as ever. The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was. The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom he gets turned on and has his way with her.
The second old lady decides to try this approach so that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. her husband comes into the bedroom takes one look and says, “For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in.”

[66-1112520797]

Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex all the time, and just as much as ever. The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was. The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom he gets turned on and has his way with her.
The second old lady decides to try this approach so that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. her husband comes into the bedroom takes one look and says, “For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in.”