Liverpool FC Forum

by adamnbarrett » Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:48 am

A TESCO CLUBCARD UPON MY CHEST

Now if you go down Kirkby Way
Youll meet a Tesco Tearaway
We're full of laughs, we're fuill of glee
Our custard creams cost thirty pee

A Tesco Clubcard upon my chest
We only accept the fu.cking best
Although we've never won a thing
Only the greatest Chicken Wings

Now Philipp Neville on the ball
He's got a gob like a burst beachball
It doent matter how he looks
Cos he's the king of Crispy Ducks

A Tesco Clubcard upon my chest
We only accept the fu.cking best
Although we've never won a light
Try curried prawns with Bill Kenwright

Now if you go down Anfield way
Those jammy bas.tards know how to play
But they'd have never won a thing
Except for Heysel and doughnut rings

A Tesco Clubcard upon my chest
We only accept the fu.cking best
Although in Europe for just one week
We all got lost at fu.cking Speke

Now Andy Johnson what a buy
His baldy head lights up the sky
He's on the feeezer aisle tonight
Like our bread he's fuc.king sh.ite

A Tesco Clubcard upon my chest
We only accept the fuc.king best
Although the ref never gives our pens
We'll all blame heysel once again

slower verse....

Now if you go to town to Marks
Theyre a bunch of fu.cking narks
Cos all their fruit got 'DONE' today
By the Tesco Tearaways

A Tesco Clubcard upon my chest
We only accept the fuc.king best
Although we've never won fu.ck all
We're still the king of grocery stores

final even slower verse...

Now heres Stubbsy wharra man
He used to work in Matalan
Till him and Hibbo sussed Kirkby
Now theyre the kings of aisle three

A Tesco Clubcard upon my chest
We'll have to accept we're not the best
Our fans and players are a bunch of fakes
But still the best at selling cakes


   

by The Ace1983 » Wed Dec 13, 2006 1:11 am

They've already started building it. Bring your own Ronsil. I'm sure they sell it at some of the bigger tescos.

by The Manhattan Project » Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:24 am

by Lando_Griffin » Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:37 am

The Manhattan Project wrote:Everton's new stadium will have a goal that is a mile wide.

So even James Beattie has a chance of scoring.

Still no chance of walking it into the net, then?

Rafa Benitez - An unfinished Legend.

by The Manhattan Project » Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:05 am

by Lando_Griffin » Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:55 am

+



=



Beattie - England to obscurity one-way.

Rafa Benitez - An unfinished Legend.

by 112-1077774096 » Wed Dec 13, 2006 6:06 am

i wonder if you will a trolley dash for the golden goal ticket     


i remember seeing in a shop window once an advert for two everton season tickets for sale, for 8 quid. anyway i went in and came out with condoms and tampax, i was too ashamed to ask for the tickets

by Lando_Griffin » Wed Dec 13, 2006 6:11 am

News just in from Newsonline:

"Concerns over Everton-Tesco alliance."

By Frank Leigh, Liverpool Times:

"Everton Football Club are in trouble with new sponsors Tesco already, according to numerous sources connected to the club. One insider said;
'Tesco have only just agreed to sponsor the club, yet the demands are already being made by some of the players. It's a bit cheeky, really.'

Officials at the club refused to comment last night in response to the allegations, but the Liverpool Times understands that the main problem surrounds the little-known clause in the contract, whereby Tesco agreed to supply the players' food for the term of the agreement.

According to Tesco's Managing Director, 14 branches around Merseyside have had to be closed as a continual stream of deliveries are being requested.

One of the players, who refused to be named, said;

"It's all James Beattie's fault. He's a right fat c*nt. I've never seen anyone eat so much! Even when I was at Man Utd with my big brother Gary, and fat b*stard Wayne Rooney was there - he was like an Anorexic compared to Jimbo."

Here is an exclusive photgraph taken at the scene, followed by one depicting a hungry Beattie 3 minutes after he polished off the last vanload:

Rafa Benitez - An unfinished Legend.

by The Manhattan Project » Wed Dec 13, 2006 6:20 am

by adamnbarrett » Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:49 pm

DER DER DER DER OFF TO KIRBY DER DER DER DER DER

by Ciggy » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:50 pm

On the first Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

A tin of no frills pate
On the second Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the third Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the fourth Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the fifth Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

5 king Prawn Rings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the sixth Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

6 cans of kestrel
5 king Prawn Rings
4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the seventh Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

7 spuds a sprouting
6 cans of kestrel
5 king Prawn Rings
4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the eighth Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

8 turnips training
7 spuds a sprouting
6 cans of kestrel
5 king Prawn Rings
4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the ninth Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

9 hot dog bunsssssssssssssssssssss
8 turnips training
7 spuds a sprouting
6 cans of kestrel
5 king Prawn Rings
4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the tenth Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

10 tins of spam
9 hot dog bunsssssssssssssssssssss
8 turnips training
7 spuds a sprouting
6 cans of kestrel
5 king Prawn Rings
4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the elleventh Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

A cheap bottle of Lambrini
10 tins of spam
9 hot dog bunsssssssssssssssssssss
8 turnips training
7 spuds a sprouting
6 cans of kestrel
5 king Prawn Rings
4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

On the Twelfth Day Of Opening Bill Kenwright bought for me

12 cans of bitter!!!!!!!!
A cheap bottle of Lambrini
10 tins of spam
9 hot dog bunsssssssssssssssssssss
8 turnips training
7 spuds a sprouting
6 cans of kestrel
5 king Prawn Rings
4 frozen pizza's
3 Tesco Tea bags
2 packs of burgers
and a tin of the no frills pate

by zarababe » Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:54 pm

The Manhattan Project wrote:Manhattan is upset.



Everton's new stadium will have a capacity of 50,000?




Just think of all the trees that will be cut down to make those seats.

can't let the tradition of woodison go, especially since Ian (Dalglish) looks forward to his annual post match appointment with the teezers .. 

THE BRENDAN REVOLUTION IS UPON US !

KING KENNY.. Always LEGEND !

RAFA.. MADE THE PEOPLE HAPPY !

Miss YOU Phil-Drummer - RIP YNWA

by red37 » Thu Dec 14, 2006 12:46 am

Get a round of this going:... here we go  (D.i.s.c.o -Ottowan 1980) - Sharpy'll know this one! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v....search=


Chorus x4:  T.E.S.C.O(s)

they're at T.E.S.C.O  they're are  T.E.S.C.O......they're at  T.E.S.C.O   they've got  T.E.S.C.O

Verse 1.

they are  T -  Tatty-trashy
they are  E -  Ever-nasty
they are  S -  Sh1tty- Bitters
they are  C -  Curled up- Critters
they are  O hhh - Bluenosed

2.

they are  T -  Transferred to Kirby
they are  E -  'Effin Scurvy
they are  S -   Super shady
they are  C -   Corrupt and Lazy
they are  O hhh - Bluescum

rpt chorus x4:

they're at T.E.S.C.O  they're are  T.E.S.C.O.....they're at  T.E.S.C.O   they've got  T.E.S.C.O

3.

they are  T - Third rate doofers
they are  E -  Euro losers
they are  S -  So unfortunate
they are  C -  Convicted muppets
they are  O hhh - Bluesh1te

rpt chorus to fade:

TITANS of HOPE

by Dalglish » Thu Dec 14, 2006 2:10 am

zarababe wrote:

can't let the tradition of woodison go, especially since Ian (Dalglish) looks forward to his annual post match appointment with the tweezers getting splinters out of his backside..  [/quote]


Your obsessed with my a.r.s.e 

Yet again Everton commit a faux pas when it comes to all things football.

When you consider how Xenophbic this lot are it's laughable that they are now considering moving out of Liverpool. I wonder who their "Leaguie Of Gentlemen" supporters will adopt as their local club now ? 

by Lando_Griffin » Thu Dec 14, 2006 2:18 am

Dalglish wrote:

Your obsessed with my a.r.s.e 

Yet again Everton commit a faux pas when it comes to all things football.

When you consider how Xenophbic this lot are it's laughable that they are now considering moving out of Liverpool. I wonder who their "Leaguie Of Gentlemen" supporters will adopt as their local club now ? 

They'll just abduct lost LFC fans and force-feed them lemons whilst playing "Europe - a one-game season" DVD's over and over.

Rafa Benitez - An unfinished Legend.