Liverpool FC Forum

by **Garymac** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:25 pm

Woof, genius is an over used word this day in age but for you i couldnt think of anything more fitting, u are a true diva :buttrock

by **woof woof !** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:26 pm

Pic ?

by **woof woof !** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:28 pm

Yeah my those days spent with Wooly had a definite effect on my career choices .

by **greenred** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:31 pm

woof woof ! wrote: Yeah my those days spent with Wooly had a definite effect on my career choices .

Congratulations on being the eighteen thousandth reply on this thread

by **woof woof !** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:35 pm

I'd just like to thank my family and all my friends in the Vulgarian Embassy .

by **dawson99** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:40 pm

ok, im gonna sing too, and a serious song unlike woofy

Girls Just Want To Have Lunch"

Some girls like to buy new shoes
And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch

I know how to keep a woman satisfied
When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide
They're always in the mood for something to munch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have

That's all they really want
Some lunch
Don't ask 'em to dinner or breakfast or brunch
'Cause girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch

Girls, they want
Want to have lunch
Girls wanna have

She eats like she got a hole in her neck
And I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check
Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have

That's all they really want
Is some lunch
Don't know for certain but I've got a hunch
Those girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch

Girls, they want
Want to have lunch
Girls wanna have

They just want to
They just want to
Girls

They just want to
They just want to
Girls just want to have lunch

Girls
Girls just want to have lunch

They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to

by **woof woof !** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:48 pm

Any of you lads who are thinking of gettin' away for Xmas might be interested in the item I found in a Travel brochure for "Vulgaria , the New Backpackers Paradise "

NIGHT LIFE
..'The hotel bar is Vulgaria's number one night spot,' says the brochure for the Krass, and it might have added that it is number one in a field of one.
..Although the bar at the Krass is inexpensive the place is usually empty, apart from the hens, as most Vulgarians prefer to do their drinking at work. Twice a week there is a disco at which songs by William Shatner and Jimmy Osmond are played. At weekends there is a cabaret. The headlining act is Alberto the Magnificent. He plays the spoons and has a revolving bow-tie and a winning smile. The support acts are Otto the shoe-shine boy giving a demonstration of the shoe-burner's art, and a female impersonation act by Trevor the donkey. Once a month there is a special gala night, at which Alberto performs a hen-swallowing act while Otto sets fire to his shoes, and the waiters sing the Horst Wessel song and interrogate a member of the audience.
..Single men looking for romance should note that, while Vulgarian women are renowned for their beauty and sexual voracity, unmarried girls are so strictly chaperoned that the only way to meet them is for their fathers to sell them to you. Any women you meet in the bar will probably be hotel maids, and any assignation they make with you will just be a ruse so they can drug you and steal your body hair to put down the drains.
..Your best chance for a liaison is to paw Rita the hat-check girl's breasts. She is 80 if she is a day, but what she lacks in manoeuvrability she makes up for in enthusiasm.

by **woof woof !** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:55 pm

There's more ...........

THINGS TO SEE
Be sure to visit the house of Strelov, the national poet. An unashamed cartographer of the sensual world, Strelov died tragically of masturbation at the age of 25. Few other writers have sung so lyrically of the joys of hen-molesting. His collection of strangely rumpled and stained gymslips is now on permanent display, despite the protests of their original owners. Most Vulgarians can quote by heart his famous love ballad, 'She is some bird, that Rita.'

:laugh:

by **dawson99** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:58 pm

http://www.therakes.co.uk/go.php?object=music_and_video
listen to work work work (pub club sleep) great ready to go out music, that and 22 grand job

( i know its out of topic, but im in a weird mood)

by **hawkmoon269** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:59 pm

And you could fly using Vulgaria's National airline, Vulgair:

Space does not permit an exhaustive listing of the pros and cons of travelling by the Vulgarian national airline or an extra-national carrier. On the whole I favour the latter. The Vulgarian Air Force still occasionally play chicken with foreign passenger flights, but they are cowards at heart (see any history of the 20-Minute War) and a pilot who shows no fear can almost always force them to swerve.
..Flying VulgAir, on the other hand, may serve as a foretaste of the charms of the country as a whole. The cabin crew are exceedingly convivial and friendly. Do not accompany Ulriga the stewardess into the toilet, however, as this will make Gregor the pilot jealous and cause him to become depressed. Likewise, if Gregor offers you a swig from his bottle, do not refuse as this too will depress him. If Gregor becomes depressed he will attempt to fly the plane into a mountain, and while Gregor's aim is execrable, the mountains are very big. If you are travelling with a teenage daughter and Gregor paws her breasts, do not remonstrate with him as he will become offended and attempt to throw you off the plane. Smile and make light of it until Ulriga notices and hits him with a sap.
..If Gregor invites you into his cockpit, remember to pay compliments to the co-pilot, who will usually be his mother. If you fail to compliment her Gregor will become depressed. If you compliment her too excessively, however, he will offer to let you accompany her into the toilet, and will become depressed if you refuse. A safe thing to compliment about her is her guide dog. This is indeed a remarkable beast, trained to bark if it spots mountains or sea. If Gregor's sheep is co-piloting, on the other hand, that should be complimented too, but not too excessively or he will become jealous. If he takes a sudden violent liking to you, however, he may get Ulriga in to butcher the sheep and roast it there and then. Sometimes the co-pilot will be a sack of potatoes with a face drawn on. This can safely be ignored.
..If you are in the cockpit during the initial descent and Gregor points out his village, change the subject immediately, even if it means pawing his mother's breasts. If you show the slightest sign of interest in Gregor's village he will land the plane there, and neither you or any of the other passengers will be allowed to leave until you have slept with his entire family, including two exceedingly repellent nephews, and they with yours.
..The in-flight meal is the celebrated Vulgarian vole stew. The in-flight headphones offer a choice between a medley of songs sung by Star Trek actors or Jimmy Osmond singing Long Haired Lover From Liverpool. The in-flight movie is a 1983 South African film, The Kaffir Who Saved Christmas.
..Disembarking at Lee Harvey Oswald International Airport, your first step is to secure a porter to retrieve your luggage. Do not be alarmed by the condition of your cases. The baggage handlers are too apathetic to actually steal anything, although items of feminine apparel may appear strangely rumpled and stained. White sports socks and silk ties also seem to excite them unduly and are probably best discarded.
..For those fortunate enough to have an American on their flight, the ritual cavity search is worth catching. Tickets are available at the information desk. Post-reforms, the searcher (a former magician) rarely 'discovers' drugs or explosives any more, relying instead on the palming of gerbils and sex toys for his effects.
..The pimps in the airport foyer are a must-see for dermatologists. They tend to congregate underneath Vorgakoff's compelling mural, The Great Goat Winston Churchill Exacting Pleasure From A Troop of Girl Guides. This work dates from a brief period of Anglo-Vulgarian detente and was intended as a tribute.

by **woof woof !** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:01 pm

You got a brochure thre your letterbox as well ?

It must be visit Vulgaria year .

by **Woollyback** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:32 pm

god i love the realworld :buttrock

all together now......

in the big rock candy mountains
all the klinks have wooden legs
and the guard dogs all have rubber teeth
and the hens lay soft-boiled eggs

in the big rock candy mountains
the jails are made of tin
and you can walk right out again
as soon as you are in

so i'm gonna stay where you sleep all day
and they hung the turk that invented work
and i'll see you all this coming fall
in the big rock candy mountains

BBUUUUTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh:

by **woof woof !** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:35 pm

Barkeep !! I'll have what Wooly's drinkin'

by **82-1074641017** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:59 pm

Woollyback wrote:bob's back eh? i can just pcture him strolling back into town after a bit of high-seas piracy with roberts sat on his shoulder like a tourette's-afflicted parrot

A 6'2 parrot with style :cool:

by **Woollyback** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:02 pm

have you shrunk, i'm sure you used to be 6'3 ? :suspect:

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