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by **106-1093504160** » Wed Oct 27, 2004 3:38 pm

mines ****** again

by **Dom1** » Wed Oct 27, 2004 6:06 pm

stmichael wrote:Libra (September 22 - October 22)

You will spend the day attempting to rest, but whenever you fall asleep you'll return to the same nightmare of being transformed into a chihuahua, and will wake, screaming (in a very high-pitched, whiny, and annoying sort of way).

oh god

its so true

by **stmichael** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 5:13 pm

hi everyone. it's time for the long awaited return of the number one horoscope column on the internet. yes that's right, it's mystic mick.

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong & deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a **** about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're a type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.

TAURUS

Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're sexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you are constantly charming the opposite sex.

GEMINI

Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themselves to win a bet.

CANCER

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous b#stard who would sell relatives limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

LEO

The adverturous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leo's are living on welfare.

VIRGO

You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap b#stard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA

You are the forgiving type and don't bear grudges. This makes you an a~hole. For your entire life people will make a complete pr#ck of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You love picking your nose and always have snot on your clothes.

SAGITTARIUS

You are the romantic type, soft hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.

CAPRICORN

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred **** and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an alter boy.

AQUARIUS

You are the acedemic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

PISCES

You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail.

remember, sleep well and don't have nightmares.

by **dawson99** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 5:16 pm

i did recentlypurchase some dutch porn, mystic mick its like you're reading my shopping list

not sure about the incest thing tho

by **Woollyback** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 5:57 pm

dawson99 wrote:not sure about the incest thing tho

Leave that to dapioneer :laugh:

by **Honolulu Bob** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:07 pm

stmichael wrote:AQUARIUS

This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

It's amazing how accurate some of these horoscopes can be! :blush:

by **stmichael** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:16 pm

Honolulu Bob wrote:
stmichael wrote:AQUARIUS

This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

It's amazing how accurate some of these horoscopes can be!

i speak the truth my fellow shipmate

by **Dom1** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:19 pm

stmichael wrote:LIBRA

You are the forgiving type and don't bear grudges. This makes you an a~hole. For your entire life people will make a complete pr#ck of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

by **zarababe** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:21 pm

Honolulu Bob wrote:
stmichael wrote:AQUARIUS

This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

It's amazing how accurate some of these horoscopes can be!

.. sh*t I'm an Aquarian too... nothing for the girlz then Saint.. and Bob's an Aquarian too... HELP !!! :oops:

by **Ciggy** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:21 pm

LEO

The adverturous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leo's are living on welfare.

Ya cheeky get stMick

First parts right tho :devil:

by **Dom1** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:23 pm

the 1st 2 sentences of mine are correct

LIBRA

You are the forgiving type and don't bear grudges. This makes you an a~hole. For your entire life people will make a complete pr#ck of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

by **Ciggy** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:24 pm

Ill come to ya funeral Dom if im still alive

by **Dom1** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:25 pm

by **stmichael** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:34 pm

zarababe wrote:sh*t I'm an Aquarian too... nothing for the girlz then Saint..

sorry z'babe. i don't mean to be sexist.

AQUARIUS (alternative)

Furry animals partial to banana and guava fruit will make a painful compromise bearable.

Your favoured Olympic discipline this month will be the hop, skip and jump, not necessarily in that order.

However, avoid dental hygienists called Tracy at all costs.

by **zarababe** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:41 pm

Saint.. tis a bit better .. though not sure about the "furry animal" that's not taff by ay chance is it

.. Tracy ay... ummm.. ok

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