Liverpool FC Forum

[anfieldroad]

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 21)

which makes you a sucker.

Thats a bloody lie

you blow then 

you and canadian red army should get together, he likes wierd stuff aswell   

[Dom1]

[Leonmc0708]

Are these the sort of posts you refer to in the other thread, then you truly are legendary !

[Dom1]

no im just joining in in this thread, if u look back there is plenty of one smily posts from every1 else !!!!!!!!!!!

[A.B.]

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 21)

which makes you a sucker.

Thats a bloody lie

you blow then 

you and canadian red army should get together, he likes wierd stuff aswell   

I think I'll pass, how about you get together with CRA or perhaps you could take Dom with you.

[The Canadian Red Army]

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 21)

which makes you a sucker.

Thats a bloody lie

you blow then 

you and canadian red army should get together, he likes wierd stuff aswell   

I think I'll pass, how about you get together with CRA or perhaps you could take Dom with you.

why the hell did my name get thrown into this, i like wierd stuff

[anfieldroad]

calm down lads

check out the emoticons

[Judge]

stmike, where art thou?

[stmichael]

stmike, where art thou?

judge, you're back. how's it going me old mucka?

there will be more wise words within the next 24 hours i promise.

[Dom1]

hmm i wonder what my stars have planned for me tommoro

[Judge]

stmike, where art thou?

judge, you're back. how's it going me old mucka?

there will be more wise words within the next 24 hours i promise.

ive had a bad early december, but all is well now me ole mate

hello all

[stmichael]

Here is today's installment people!

ARIES (March 20- April 19)

A small conjunction between Pluto and Mercury bodes ill for the 17th. On this day you could be faced with a pivotal decision which can only be resolved by the use of a toy Tarot card set. Always remember that the power of the Tarot is never enhanced by an overly cynical attitude.

A small African ornament on the fireplace will grow by half an inch this month but nobody will notice.

A toiletting incident is set to make you question your faith this month, this is because Mars is about to enter the gamma of Taurus on a happy note sideways.


TAURUS (April 20- May 19)

You will be asked by a Broadway director to play the lead in Fiddler on the Roof due, solely, to your bushy beard. You will accept the role, rehearse well, but at the last minute you will decide not to turn up.

Nothing other than sugar will be able to console you after the death of a favourite soap star this month. Eat chocolate until you put on 25 lbs or more, or your ankles swell up so that your shoes no longer fit.

An eruption, an earthquake or possibly just a broken dish will increase the amount of uncertainty to 'nicely pleasant' this month. Ensure you are only 10 steps away from a door at any time especially during the period of siesta.


GEMINI (May 20- June 20)

Something you have at one time dreamed for, a thing possibly containing the letter e in the word but an u is also possible, is set to come true even if only for the shortest moment this month. Enjoy. You deserve it.

You have never been more concerned about your appearance. In spite of this, avoid makeup from the 8th (until dawn of the 23rd) as Uranus is determined to bork your makeup applying hand with violent upswings.

On the 16th a street bum will improbably give you his loose change - beware, this could be a prank TV stunt - do not give your consent to them using the videoed evidence - however enjoy the copious amount of alcoholic beverage (including nuts) they offer in the negotiations...


CANCER (June 21- July 21)

You will try Ben and Jerry's new Rat in the Trap ice cream this month. When finishing the carton ensure that all of the sticky bits have been consumed as they could lead to a violent cat choking incident when it licks the carton afterwards.

A conjunction between a small truck and a larger red one will place a strain on your relationship with the German nation.

Eat fish more than 4 times this month, but never on a Friday.


LEO (July 22- August 22)

Who-hey! Oops, strike that, too many seasonal brandy's... What a wonderful 2005 you are about to have... starting from a small win of money, or maybe you are going to be right about something for once in an argument or maybe a quiz...

Avoid underground caves, alcohol and potato chips and do not attempt any backflipping in your Yogic Boxing video workout unless your are being properly supervised.

An anniversary will offer the prospects for celebrations which may only end in disarray following a fall or a breakage.

Rejoice in small thing throughout the year, and never underestimate the power of dance.


VIRGO (August 23- Sept 21)

In an incredible moment of good fortune you will beat the world sneezing record on 17th. Ensure you have enough handkerchiefs in which to direction your violently phlegmy exhalations.

Unfortunately your marathon sneezathon will begin during a high powered working breakfast: under no circumstances take the temporary lull in your nasal eruptions to encourage you to restart eating - you will lose the client either way, but the dry cleaning bill will be much reduced.

A toy tiger or lion is set to make this month zing with jungle based uncertainty especially if wearing a loin cloth or leopard style underwear.


LIBRA (Sept 22- Oct 22)

A chance encounter in a fast food restaurant on the 7th will encourage you to reconsider your life goals, especially with regards to processed meat products.

When looking to buy a pet on the 16th you will be drawn to a cute puppy with a small limp and a shiny nose: name him Lenny and pat him liberally around the waist.

A tall lady with an exaggerated walk is set to make your in-town dining activities more entertaining than ever before, especially when she eats pizza. Mayonnaise is also well starred for some reason or other.


SCORPIO (Oct 23- Nov 21)

You are at risk of a motor accident this month when your favourite rock music radio station suddenly changes its music policy to Show Tunes and Crooners without warning. Be pleasant to those rescuing you - especially if cutting equipment is required - calmly ask them to retune your radio to 100.5FM while you wait.

Unfortunately, as the local junior hood broke into your car last year and reprogrammed the chip responsible for station settings, you may inevitably need to embark on a journey of discovery that is the appreciation of Andy Williams. This will include his dress code which you will be encouraged to mimic by a person who looks similar to your mother; despite its encouraging theatrical warbley bits, avoid singing 'Happy Heart' whilst walking down the road, unless you are trying to throw off a stalker.


SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22- Dec 21)

You will buy too much fruit and vegetables from a market stall this month which will enable the stall owner go home early to spend time with his young family.

Saturn is experimenting with a new rage and may use you for its evil machinations around the 12th. The new rage will make itself apparent to you in the form of a cross between supermarket trolley rage and road rage and may involve water, but not pot plants.

A dog with a limp will look into your eyes this month in an attempt to doggy-hypnotise you.


CAPRICORN (Dec 22- Jan 19)

Welcome memories of times past into your life this month, especially regarding books, movies and friends you have kissed only on the lips.

A strangely seasonal incident will occur on the 14th when Mars trajuncts a cautious Neptune on its upper bottom.

Avoid drop-kicking a ball of paper that you screw up on the 26th as you are at risk of a complicated incident ensuing... you will miss the waste basket in any case.


AQUARIUS (Jan 20- Feb 17)

You have always enjoyed rearranging furniture ever since your college years when you shared a flat with two Feng-shui extremists. This evil side of your personality has lain dormant for far too long... When invited to your next sleep over, get up in the middle of the night to rearrange the furniture downstairs.

Jupiter is about to eclipse a moon this month which may enhance your desires for Lycra, silk or wool on your body.


PISCES (Feb 18- March 19)

You will come up with a new arrangement for the romantic hit 'Nothing Compares To You' - discovering that there is an option for a sort of hiccup effect at the end of the third line. Initially only perform your new arrangement at low volumes in the shower, but, after practice, your abilities will be particularly appreciated outside busy pubs at kicking-out time.

A baby's cries will apparently tell you the winner in a horse race later this month. Gamble a small amount and reinvest the winnings in a coffee with no froth from Starbucks.


UNTIL THE NEXT TIME PEOPLE    

[Judge]

i'll try n steer away from ben n jerrys ice cream then mike, cheers for that

[aco67]

Thanks St Mike

now I know how to get rid of that stalker

###It's my happy heart you hear
Singing loud and singing clear
And it's all because you're near me, my love
Take my happy heart away
Let me love you night and day
In your arms I wanna stay, oh my love###

[stmichael]

time for today's happy words of wisdom  

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You will be followed by an evil-looking man in an old green Ford pickup truck. Surprisingly, it will turn out that following people is just his hobby, and you have nothing to worry about.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Put all your eggs in three baskets, today - metaphorically speaking, of course. You can kiss your first two baskets goodbye.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Nobody knows the trouble you've seen. Except for Bob, that is. You know - the quiet neighbor, with the binoculars?

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Today is the 1,750,000-year aniversary of the invention of hand tools! (The original hand tool was the Oldovan Chopper, commonly made of chipped flint, and originally sold under the Sears Craftsman label.) Celebrate by getting out there and banging some rocks together!

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

You will invent a method of making icosahedral ice cubes, today, which everyone will think are really cool.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

I see you making a special trip to the store today, to get something. It's in a sort of yellow-ish little box, about the size of a toothpaste box, I think. It's "prep-something"? Ah! "Preparation"-something, I think. Oh. Ahem. Anyway, if it's any consolation, I hear that Jet Fighter pilots have that problem much worse than most people. All that acceleration, you know. Don't worry -- your secret is safe with me!

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Today you will turn over a new leaf. Good for you! We were all getting a little tired of you, you know, as you were.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Excellent day to just walk down the street, going "Doo wah ditty, ditty dum ditty doo." I'd stop short of taking a walk on the wild side, though.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Happy Frog Day!! Let's hear it for our little amphibious friends!

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Good time to be unspecific. Instead of being a day late and a dollar short, for example, just try to be late and short. See how much easier that is?

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Despite your best efforts, you will be unable to get your book published. But all you really need to do is change the title! "A Comparative Study of Invertibrate Parasites" is not likely to be published. But "A Bucket Full Of Leeches"? Now that's another story.

till the next time people