AQUARIUS (JAN 21-FEB 19).
you have an inventive mind and are inclined to be aggressive. you lie a great deal. you make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. everyone thinks you're a f#cking jerk. you enjoy sucking c#ck.
PISCES (FEB 20-MARCH 19).
you have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. you have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting what you perceive as power. you lack confidence and are a general dipsh#t.
ARIES (MARCH 20-APRIL 18)
you are a pioneer type and think most people are d#ckheads. you are quick to reprimand, are impatient, and scornful of advice. you do nothing but p#ss off everyone you come into contact with. you are a pr#ck.
TAURUS (APRIL 19-MAY 19)
you are practical and persistent. you have a dogged determination and stick to anything attitude because you never get it right the first time. most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. you are nothing but a f#cking #sshole.
GEMINI (MAY 20-JUNE 20)
you are a quick and intelligent thinker. people like you because you are bisexual. you are inclined to expect too much for too little. this means you are a cheap b#stard. gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 21)
you are sympathetic and understanding towards other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. you will always keep putting things off. this is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a sh#t. everybody in prison is a cancer.
LEO (JULY 22-AUGUST 22)
you consider yourself a born leader. everyone thinks you are an idiot. most leo's are bullies. you are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. your arrogance is disgusting. leo's are thieving mother-f#ckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.
VIRGO (AUGUST 23-SEPT 21)
you are the logical type and hate disorder. your sh#t-picking attitude is sickening to your co-workers. you are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while f#cking. virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.
LIBRA (SEPT 22-OCT 22)
you are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. if you are a male, you are probably queer. chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. most libra women are whores. all libra's die of venereal disease.
SCORPIO (OCT 23-NOV 21)
the worst of the lot! you are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. you shall achieve the pinnacle of success due to total lack of ethics. you are a perfect son of a b#tch. most scorpio's are murdered.
SAGGITARIUS (NOV 22-DEC 20)
you are optimistic and enthusiastic. you have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. the majority of saggitarius's are drunks. nixon was a saggitarius. you are indeed a worthless piece of sh#t.
CAPRICORN (DEC 21-JAN 20)
you are conservative and afraid of taking risks. you are basically a chicken-sh#t. there has never been a capricorn of any importance. you should kill yourself.
TUNE IN NEXT TIME PEOPLE FOR MORE FROM YOUR RESIDENT ASTROLOGER MYSTIC MICK
