Liverpool FC Forum

[The Ace1983]

OHhhh! A Mockney. Yeah I got them in as well.

[neil]

couple'o live ones ere !

[Lando_Griffin]

Those who try to get served before you at the bar knowing full well you were there 1st

Too funking right.

No matter what bar I go to, whenever it's busy I am ALWAYS the daft b*stard who has to wait while the Yuppie punks get their Babyshams, wine (I mean f*cking WINE - IN A PUB!) and f*cking bottles of alcho pop.
They come to the bar at regular intervals, and just basically lean so far across the bar that if someone released a fart 300 miles away, they'd smash their faces on the floor below. (Here's hoping.)
They stand with a £20 note in their hand and offer the barkeep looks which promise hot sex if they serve them before the mere mortals in the vacinity.

Yuppie's are all vermin, and they seem to think that because their "Mummsie and Daddy" spent £10k per term educating them at f*cking Eton, they are in some way entitled to treat you and me like the contents of their toilet bowl after they eat the posh sh*t their silver-spooned lives serve them.

It's the same with University students. B*stards to a man.
I had the chance to go to Uni, but I refused as I didn't want to turn into a steaming puss-filled turd.
A few of my mates went, and I can honestly say it has taken me nearly 3 years to convert them back to the decent human beings they were before the Pot-Noodle and Ganja-induced, floppy-haired morons indoctrinated them into their crowd.

A perfectly sane mate of mine, (my best mate, really), went to uni to study Physics.
He went from being a football-obsessed beer merchant, to a long-locked wine drinking "metrosexual", despite choosing the dullest course available.
He started knocking about with a male hairdresser, who altered his barnet every f*cking week, never wore his Newcastle shirt, had all but stopped playing football incase he got injured, MOISTURISED for Christ's sake, and went on a "lads' holiday" and sunbathed for a week!

Well - I wasn't having THAT! It's been a hard slog, but I've finally got him back on the ale, his hair stays the same for anything up to a month (no more gay styles, either), he wears his footy scarf (it's a start), he's playing footy again, and he's under strict instructions that if he ever sunbathes in my company, he will cease to exist in the land of the living.

You know what? He's a happier man for it aswell. You see, he was never suited to that life.

People - we MUST fight this kind of behaviour before it wrecks every group of mates' Friday-night p*ss-up.

And to those fairy-boys who think that using moisturiser and any form of make-up is normal behaviour for a man:

Kill yourselves. And make it a manly death, you whiney pussies.

Oh, and BTW - on the subject of yuppies at the bar; the feckers ALWAYS order enough drinks to quench the thirst of an entire Arabian desert army, and they ALWAYS want to pay on their f*cking American Express cards.

B*stards. 

[woof woof !]

My top three pet hates .


1,Shrink Wrapped Products
You buy some batteries but need a knife to get the f*ckers out of the pkt , rustle through your knife drawer pull out a dinner knife , the pkt laughs at you as you try to saw into it .Back to the knife drawer and out with the carving knife ,you start stabbing the f'uck out of the pkt and succeed in driving the knife straight through the pkt AND your left hand .Grab your car keys and head for the hospital ,only to drop the keys halfway down your garden path , after scrabbling round in the dark for 15 mins you go back inside to get a tourch , thats when you remember WHY YOU BOUGHT THE BATTERIES ! AAAAAARRRRGGGHH.    You decide to just slowly bleed to death , life seems easier that way .

2, Tourists
Every f'ucking time you go out there they are , 5 of them in a group standing in the middle of the pavement "Ooohing and AAAAHHring " over some statue covered in bird sh'it . As you step into the road (to get around the inconsiderate kunts) one of them asks you to take their picture .( I always agree with a smile ,and carefully aim the camera so as to make sure their toothy f'ucking heads are not in the frame   ) Two hundred yards up the road there's another bunch trying to make sense out of a map . Despite not speaking English they insist on attempting to ask you for directions . I cheerily tell them in my best pidgin that the map is upside down and they should go back the way they came and start again in the other direction .There's no escaping these f'uckers , even when you go on holiday , there they are and to make it worse NOW they speak f'ucking english !!!

3, People who pay with Plastic
You've all seen them , those f'uckers in the supermarket checkout who pay for a sandwich with a credit card    A F'UCKING SANDWICH !  . It does my f'uckin' head in , I try and shame the b'stards by calling from the back of the queue  "Hurry up , my foods reaching it's sell by date "  or  "Must be related to the Queen , she doesn't carry cash either "  The clueless kunts , how can anybody go to the shop without at least a couple of quid cash money in their pocket . Stay home you f'uckers and wait til' yer next giro arrives .

[The Ace1983]

3, People who pay with Plastic
You've all seen them , those f'uckers in the supermarket checkout who pay for a sandwich with a credit card    A F'UCKING SANDWICH !  . It does my f'uckin' head in , I try and shame the b'stards by calling from the back of the queue  "Hurry up , my foods reaching it's sell by date "  or  "Must be related to the Queen , she doesn't carry cash either "  The clueless kunts , how can anybody go to the shop without at least a couple of quid cash money in their pocket . Stay home you f'uckers and wait til' yer next giro arrives .

Just happened to me in the station! Bloke goes up to the counter with a couple of bags of crisps and whatever else and asks for 10 Marly Reds. It comes to £5.17 and he hands across his VISA. What a knob. Everyone's knackered and hungry in a line of about 7 people and he hands over a funkin' VISA.

W@nker        

[Scottbot]

My room 101 would be put the lot of the bitter bluesh.ite in the bin.

Class 

[Rimetto]

1. Andy Gray - just can't bring himself to say anything good about liverpool

2. Arsenal - i hate the french so hating arsenal is the same thing

3. drivers that think they are the only car on the road (especially on roundabouts)

4. The Sun and Mirror Newspapers. The sun for obvious reasons and the mirror because of what they did with the FAKE pictures from Iraq

5. Soaps and Big Brother

[AussieKopite]

1. Chelskis
2. Mancs
3. Toffees
4. Holdens (the car)
5. New South Wales rugby league State of Origin team.

[GOAT]

Well one thing i hate at this moment is fecking rain! Got bloody drenched in the stuff before, most annoying f.ucking thing ever

[chaz__x]

1. wen teachers r cleanin da whitebord fings an dey leave lil lines n dots onit, i have 2 get up n wipe dem off lmao

2. french accents

3. Edit by JMac: Racist remark which means an automatic ban.

i cnt fink ov ewt else lol   

[GOAT]

oh dear oh dear..... goodbye

[Woollyback]

another alter ego    

[jonnymac1979]

i cnt fink ov ewt else lol   

cya lol anno omg wtf 6 hgo opihg ;'[;766 :Hxgdgb888



Enough of this text speak s*i*e please. 

If you're in school, I suggest you pay particular attention to your English Language and Literature lessons.

[GOAT]

Well thank god for that!

[adamnbarrett]

i cnt fink ov ewt else lol   

cya lol anno omg wtf 6 hgo opihg ;'[;766 :Hxgdgb888



Enough of this text speak s*i*e please. 

If you're in school, I suggest you pay particular attention to your English Language and Literature lessons.

Talking of which, I've got my literature GCSE tomorrow 

better get revising