Liverpool FC Forum

[zarababe]

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Today the universe will stop expanding, and start contracting. You will be the only one who notices. Also, you will develop a strange desire to wear golf shoes.


Ummm open toe sandles for me today... i'm celebrating and all dressed-up.. bad prediction again san miguel

[Dom1]

]nooo no no no no blah blah puhty puh puh alalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa   i dint see it gogogogogq[asodfka

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator.

wow it was almost as if i knew what u were going to say before u sed it       strange??!!!

[stmichael]

time for today's wise words people. yesterday was supposed to be the most depressing day of the year so hopefully today's offering will help cheer you up somewhat.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Flour tortilla day, today. You know what I mean.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

A person of Irish descent will attempt to sell you something you don't especially want, today. Strive to turn the conversation to Tilapia (a type of freshwater fish) -- you'll find it's his new hobby.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Beware the Ides of March. Also, if you have a friend named "Brutus", it might behoove you to be a trifle more selective...


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Good day to act extremely childish.


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Today you will notice yet another large freshly-dug mound of dirt in your neighbor's back yard. It's probably nothing -- he probably just digs at night if he can't get to sleep. I know I do.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

What are you looking here, for? You should be on a spaceship, sticking a fish in your ear. It's not like you didn't get enough hints. If you are vaporized, it's your own darned fault, I'd say.


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

The mythic asteroid Chaeron, in collaboration with the uneasy spirit of Atahualpa (the last Inca king), will act to produce a gastric upset of epic proportions, today. Keep your chakras clear, and carry some Immodium.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Good day to have some fun with fake fur and spirit gum. Now you can see what chest hair would really be like, or go for the "Madonna" look. Or you can simply opt for hairy palms -- that's always fun.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Be careful if you try to be funny, today. Although you are normally reknowned for your dry wit, you may be a bit soggy, today.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Between now and the vernal equinox, trust anyone with freckles. After that, trust no one.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Soon you will find yourself at another dull party, where the only person you know is who you came with. You'll need to use Tip #39 of my book "101 Ways To Break The Ice": Ask someone who they are, after introducing yourself. When they say their name, repeat it back to them as "YOU'RE Bill Smith???" "Uh, yes" "Well, you sure can't believe everything you hear, can you?" "What do you mean?" "Well, it's just that you don't look at ALL like a weasel, you know? Or at least, hardly at all."


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Excellent day to be boisterous. Avoid obstreperousness, however.

....................................................................................

oh and liverpool will win tonight 2-0 

until the next time

[A.B.]

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Good day to act extremely childish.

[zarababe]

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Soon you will find yourself at another dull party, where the only person you know is who you came with. You'll need to use Tip #39 of my book "101 Ways To Break The Ice": Ask someone who they are, after introducing yourself. When they say their name, repeat it back to them as "YOU'RE Bill Smith???" "Uh, yes" "Well, you sure can't believe everything you hear, can you?" "What do you mean?" "Well, it's just that you don't look at ALL like a weasel, you know? Or at least, hardly at all."


... My birthday is this week ... not sure about the prognosis though San Miguel... dull parties just don't go together...

[The Canadian Red Army]

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Beware the Ides of March. Also, if you have a friend named "Brutus", it might behoove you to be a trifle more selective...

WTF 

[stmichael]

afternoon all

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Tiddly wink day. Make it count.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

People will stare at you today. Unknown to you, you are starting to look more and more like a large frog. A career in basketball may be in your future.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

A package will arrive for you today, from a distant relative in Tibet. Scarlet-robed assassins will begin following you.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Someone will tell you that you "run funny." Just ignore them. (And be very glad they didn't see you throwing a baseball.)


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Today you will uncover astonishing proof that the dinosaurs died out due to a retrovirus contagion. Furthermore, you will find evidence of a government cover-up of research that indicates the same thing is likely to happen to humans. Don't worry, though.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Nothing especially remarkable will happen today. You will get a strange urge to talk like Ziggy Marley, but it will pass.


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Remember: it's a pride of lions, a gaggle of geese, and a murder of crows. More important for you today, though: a group of budgies is a "bludgeoning."


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Excellent day to fidget.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Today you will make a bold fashion statement, which will eventually become a trend and sweep the nation. "Executive Grunge", you'll call it.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Birds figure heavily in your day, today. My advice? Wear a hat.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Someone will give you a card, today. It'll be nice.


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Today you will get very dirty. Actually, though, it will be rather fun.

   

[dawson99]

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Today you will make a bold fashion statement, which will eventually become a trend and sweep the nation. "Executive Grunge", you'll call it.

i am wearnig womens underwear, and its kinda grungy, u do indeed have powers sir

[stmichael]

i am wearnig womens underwear, and its kinda grungy

   

[Woollyback]

   Hmmmmmmmm so that's what Dawsonio does when he disappears for weeks on end   

[stmichael]

afternoon all. time for some more wise words  

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You will overhear a whispered conversation, regarding how cute it is the way someone wiggles their tushy when they walk. You will have an uncomfortable feeling that they may be referring to you. This may make you a trifle self-conscious.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Fungus day today. Interestingly, you will discover that in order to engage in mycological research, you need go no further than your toes...


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You will get one of those pre-mixed salads in a new high-tech bag that "breathes." Or, in this case, wheezes.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Someone will ask you if you'd like some "fresh ground pepper" on your salad. Personally (this may be just a "Ron" thing), I always say "yes" to people carrying a baseball bat, outside a playing field.


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

A man with a mystical yet somehow tortured expression will stop you on the street, today, and ask you for a name brand of prepared mustard. If you carry a jar with you, and surprise him, you will make his life seem worthwhile.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Musical inspiration will strike you today, and you'll invent some sort of new instrument that looks like a Hoover vacuum bag with a few bits of odd plumbing sticking out of it. The good thing is, the instrument will rivet people's attention to such a degree that you can indulge your tendency towards cross-dressing without anyone noticing!


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

This is a good time to get out there and make a difference! I'm often tempted to do that, but I just can't figure out where "there" is -- every time I get there, it's here. Maybe if I run really fast? Oh well, if you figure it out, be sure to make a difference.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Someone will try to give you an egg salad sandwich today. Refuse them. Be polite, yet firm.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Today you will be overcome with a sudden strong urge to learn to play a wooden flute while cavorting around in the forest. I recommend you treat those separately at first. You'll find what you need under "Music, Instruction" and under "Cavorting, Instruction." Don't get talked into buying any cavorting supplies, though -- they're really only needed by professionals.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

You will be attacked and beaten by a group of Nuns. When a baffled pair of mounted urban police drag them off you, they will refuse to say why they were attacking you, and will sulk.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with "muzac" in the grocery store. It's the beginning of the long slow slide, I'm afraid. Next stop: collecting "nick nacks."


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Today you will exercise self-discipline. It's about time, too! Your self-discipline was starting to get somewhat portly.

[stmichael]

time for today's installment people

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Today you will go into the prosthetic forehead business, having heard that everyone wants a prosthetic forehead to wear on their real forehead. It would be a good idea to do your own market research, in this case, before sinking all your savings in this venture.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Bad juju today. Stay well clear of West African carved figurines.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You will become trapped in the sofa, again. People will point and laugh.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You are about to have an idea of almost mind-boggling brilliance. Try to remain calm.


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Vlad The Impaler continues to come up in casual conversation. You might want to consider wearing a silver cross, despite your theological leanings.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You find that after all these years, you are finally beginning to conquer your fears. You will find that oddly frightening.


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Excellent day to pretend to have various infirmities. Pretending to have a hunchback is my personal favorite, and is often favorably combined with a drooling problem.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Today you'll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that'll hurt.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You will snidely snicker at someone today. That's not going to make you many friends, you know. Instead, you should cheerfully chuckle.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Uh oh. Mars is out of alignment, again. Not a good day to hang out with stupid, violent, heavily-armed ex-convicts. Save that for tomorrow.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Your incisors will seem to be getting longer today, and you will find sunlight hurts your eyes. Probably just a cold, and nothing to worry about.


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You will finally find your spirit guide today, and your life will take on new meaning. Unfortunately for you, your spirit guide will turn out to have a sense of humor.

     

[zarababe]

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Your incisors will seem to be getting longer today, and you will find sunlight hurts your eyes. Probably just a cold, and nothing to worry about.


.. I'm a tee totaller.. but treading this makes me wanna grab that bottle of vodka.. and pills next to it.. 

"killing me softly with your words" 

[stmichael]

I'm a tee totaller

Seriously?

Here's a good drinking game for you then

The rules are similar to the star trek drinking game and the presidential debates drinking game. Participants get themselves a television, some form of alcohol, and then act according to the following rules:

Take a drink whenever the Scottish international soccer team scores a goal.

   

[A.B.]

You are about to have an idea of almost mind-boggling brilliance. Try to remain calm.

My idea was brilliant.