Liverpool FC Forum

I pulled up for petrol about 4 am in Manchester  ,and I was laughing to myself at some of the sights on the forecourt ....Bagheads walking about
like extra's from Dawn of the Dead ,so in between my tittering  I failed to notice one had crept up behind my car like a fucking Dementor
and was sittng on my boot ,I sat glued in abject horror as it slowly dawned on me this hard faced fecker was wiping his shitty  arse
all over my boot.

I mean I know Manchester is rough ,but even I didn't envisage skid marks on my fucking boot ..... Ordinarily I would have got out and chinned
the dirty Bastard ,but he must have been about 3 stone wet through,besides he was dressed in only his grundies and looked like he was wearing
his Dads work boots .............Needless to say I screeched out and found the nearest car wash post haste.

The lads in the car with me were howling all the way back to Liverpool ....Bastards

RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Aug 19, 2013 4:09 pm wrote:I pulled up for petrol about 4 am in Manchester  ,and I was laughing to myself at some of the sights on the forecourt ....Bagheads walking about
like extra's from Dawn of the Dead ,so in between my tittering  I failed to notice one had crept up behind my car like a fucking Dementor
and was sittng on my boot ,I sat glued in abject horror as it slowly dawned on me this hard faced fecker was wiping his shitty  arse
all over my boot.

I mean I know Manchester is rough ,but even I didn't envisage skid marks on my fucking boot ..... Ordinarily I would have got out and chinned
the dirty Bastard ,but he must have been about 3 stone wet through,besides he was dressed in only his grundies and looked like he was wearing
his Dads work boots .............Needless to say I screeched out and found the nearest car wash post haste.

The lads in the car with me were howling all the way back to Liverpool ....Bastards

the dirty little fooker, id have given him such a kick up the hole the next time he tried it all he'd have to do is lob his colostomy bag from twenty yards 
i hope you checked your back seats where dry 

RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:09 pm wrote:I pulled up for petrol about 4 am in Manchester  ,and I was laughing to myself at some of the sights on the forecourt ....Bagheads walking about
like extra's from Dawn of the Dead ,so in between my tittering  I failed to notice one had crept up behind my car like a fucking Dementor
and was sittng on my boot ,I sat glued in abject horror as it slowly dawned on me this hard faced fecker was wiping his shitty  arse
all over my boot.

I mean I know Manchester is rough ,but even I didn't envisage skid marks on my fucking boot ..... Ordinarily I would have got out and chinned
the dirty Bastard ,but he must have been about 3 stone wet through,besides he was dressed in only his grundies and looked like he was wearing
his Dads work boots .............Needless to say I screeched out and found the nearest car wash post haste.

The lads in the car with me were howling all the way back to Liverpool ....Bastards

   

Just seen this. That isn't normal.

RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Aug 19, 2013 10:09 am wrote:I pulled up for petrol about 4 am in Manchester  ,and I was laughing to myself at some of the sights on the forecourt ....Bagheads walking about
like extra's from Dawn of the Dead ,so in between my tittering  I failed to notice one had crept up behind my car like a fucking Dementor
and was sittng on my boot ,I sat glued in abject horror as it slowly dawned on me this hard faced fecker was wiping his shitty  arse
all over my boot.

I mean I know Manchester is rough ,but even I didn't envisage skid marks on my fucking boot ..... Ordinarily I would have got out and chinned
the dirty Bastard ,but he must have been about 3 stone wet through,besides he was dressed in only his grundies and looked like he was wearing
his Dads work boots .............Needless to say I screeched out and found the nearest car wash post haste.

The lads in the car with me were howling all the way back to Liverpool ....Bastards

What the hell were the other guys in the car doing?   

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'
'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you have caused some needless embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You should not ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.' The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated loudly.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'What is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't ***** out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.

The Good Yank » Tue Aug 20, 2013 6:46 am wrote:

RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Aug 19, 2013 10:09 am wrote:I pulled up for petrol about 4 am in Manchester  ,and I was laughing to myself at some of the sights on the forecourt ....Bagheads walking about
like extra's from Dawn of the Dead ,so in between my tittering  I failed to notice one had crept up behind my car like a fucking Dementor
and was sittng on my boot ,I sat glued in abject horror as it slowly dawned on me this hard faced fecker was wiping his shitty  arse
all over my boot.

I mean I know Manchester is rough ,but even I didn't envisage skid marks on my fucking boot ..... Ordinarily I would have got out and chinned
the dirty Bastard ,but he must have been about 3 stone wet through,besides he was dressed in only his grundies and looked like he was wearing
his Dads work boots .............Needless to say I screeched out and found the nearest car wash post haste.

The lads in the car with me were howling all the way back to Liverpool ....Bastards

What the hell were the other guys in the car doing?   :laugh:

Rolling all over the back seat Laughing at me mate .

Kenny Kan » Tue Aug 20, 2013 3:24 am wrote:

RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:09 pm wrote:I pulled up for petrol about 4 am in Manchester  ,and I was laughing to myself at some of the sights on the forecourt ....Bagheads walking about
like extra's from Dawn of the Dead ,so in between my tittering  I failed to notice one had crept up behind my car like a fucking Dementor
and was sittng on my boot ,I sat glued in abject horror as it slowly dawned on me this hard faced fecker was wiping his shitty  arse
all over my boot.

I mean I know Manchester is rough ,but even I didn't envisage skid marks on my fucking boot ..... Ordinarily I would have got out and chinned
the dirty Bastard ,but he must have been about 3 stone wet through,besides he was dressed in only his grundies and looked like he was wearing
his Dads work boots .............Needless to say I screeched out and found the nearest car wash post haste.

The lads in the car with me were howling all the way back to Liverpool ....Bastards

   



That isn't normal.

Neither was the mess he made on my boot ,I think the fella just lived on Nutella and Marmite 

red till i die!! » Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:31 am wrote:

RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Aug 19, 2013 4:09 pm wrote:I pulled up for petrol about 4 am in Manchester  ,and I was laughing to myself at some of the sights on the forecourt ....Bagheads walking about
like extra's from Dawn of the Dead ,so in between my tittering  I failed to notice one had crept up behind my car like a fucking Dementor
and was sittng on my boot ,I sat glued in abject horror as it slowly dawned on me this hard faced fecker was wiping his shitty  arse
all over my boot.

I mean I know Manchester is rough ,but even I didn't envisage skid marks on my fucking boot ..... Ordinarily I would have got out and chinned
the dirty Bastard ,but he must have been about 3 stone wet through,besides he was dressed in only his grundies and looked like he was wearing
his Dads work boots .............Needless to say I screeched out and found the nearest car wash post haste.

The lads in the car with me were howling all the way back to Liverpool ....Bastards

the dirty little fooker, id have given him such a kick up the hole the next time he tried it all he'd have to do is lob his colostomy bag from twenty yards 
i hope you checked your back seats where dry 

Yeah ,the best part was when I reminded the lads that all their boxing gear was in the boot ........ brief interlude for the incessant laughing   

Dick Van Dyke dragged from his burning car .....

http://news.sky.com/story/1130788/dick-van-dyke-escapes-as-car-bursts-into-flames



The Baron foiled again .

woof !,  are you in here ?

f*cking hell I can't believe how many pages this has gone on for.

Just seen the date on my post on the first page... 9 years ago



The greatest thread in newkit history?

StuYesThatStu » Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:42 am wrote:The greatest thread in newkit history?

i think yes, what about you? 

stmichael » Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:43 pm wrote:

StuYesThatStu » Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:42 am wrote:The greatest thread in newkit history?

i think yes, what about you? 

       

***** hell I'd forgot about that.

9 years... Jesus christ!

''il mondo reale - il cane e il gorilla'' un soggetto molto divertente. Comonque ci sono cazzi del newkit chi scrivono in questo soggetto chi non hanno una vita 

metalhead » Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:33 am wrote:''il mondo reale - il cane e il gorilla'' un soggetto molto divertente. Comonque ci sono cazzi del newkit chi scrivono in questo soggetto chi non hanno una vita 

That's just wrong, she would never do that, wash your mouth out you sicko !